You are walking down the hallway as the classmates you pass by whisper and point in your direction. Something is going on, but you don’t know what, as you hold your textbooks closer to your chest. You are almost to your locker when you feel hands at your back. The hands violently shove you forward. You slam face-first into the locker. Scattered laughter echoes in the hallway as you turn around. You are about to be bullied.
Three bullies surround you as they make fun of you, occasionally using their hands to poke and shove against your body. There is no escape as you feel a range of emotions caused by their bullying actions. Only when the bell rings and the teachers usher kids into the classrooms are you able to get out of the situation.
What People Feel When They Are Bullied
Whether you are being bullied face-to-face, through text messages or over the Internet in the form of cyberbullying, you will be going through a range of different emotions. These emotions can affect you mentally and physically, as the bully is trying to get some type of negative reaction from you. It is normal to feel the following emotions when people are picking on you.
What People Feel When They Are Bullied : Embarrassment
Embarrassment may be the emotion you feel the most when the bully targets something personal about you such as your appearance, your grades, your family or your social status. While there may be some truth to their words, the bully is using this truth and twisting it around to make it seem negative when there is no reason for their negativity. In addition, they are saying this in front of other people within ear shot. This only increases the embarrassment as you now have to deal with other classmates whispering and talking about you all day.
What People Feel When They Are Bullied :Upset
Bullying tactics can make a teen very upset. You don’t understand why you are being targeted in such a manner. You’ve never hurt or said bad things about other people. Yet because of their words and actions, you will be feeling down about yourself. You may even berate and blame yourself for the bully’s actions against you.
What People Feel When They Are Bullied : Fear
Physical violence against you can make you afraid of the bully. You don’t know what the bully will do to you next or how they will hurt you. You are worried that the next time you have a confrontation, you could be seriously hurt. The bully may have even threatened your life. You are now timid when walking to school, afraid the bully might jump out at you at any moment. You may be afraid to go to school, be a part of after-school functions, or just being by yourself when outside.
What People Feel When They Are Bullied : Anger
It’s natural to feel anger towards the bullying and cyberbullying. It can be extremely annoying when you can’t control what other people say or do toward you. You want the person to stop, may have even told the bully to leave you alone, but they won’t listen to you as they continue on with their antics. So you feel angry about the physical and verbal attacks.
You may also feel angry with other people who are not a part of the bullying behavior. You might be annoyed that your friends aren’t being supportive and standing by you whenever the bully attacks. You may be angry with your parents for sending you to the school and being oblivious that all this is happening to you. Also, you may be angry with the teachers and the principal at your school who are not doing anything to stop the bullies.
What People Feel When They Are Bullied : Stressed
Stress and anxiety could be ruling over your emotions. You are always worried when the next bully attack will happen. When you are stressed, you can’t concentrate on what is really important: being social, maintaining your good grades, and working at a part-time job. The stress can ruin your relationships and make you withdraw from doing the things that you enjoyed in your life.
What People Feel When They Are Bullied : Depressed
When you are being bullied, you feel alone in the world. You don’t know who to talk to and you believe there is nobody who can help. You may withdraw from meaningful relationships as you believe everyone is out to hurt you. The longer the bullies continue to attack you, the more you may feel depressed. You may give up on doing social activities or on your school work. If the depression deepens, you may have suicidal thoughts where you want to end your life to be free of the pain and sadness that the bullies are creating in your life.
Talk To Someone About Your Feelings
If you are the victim of bullying, you do not need to keep it a secret or deal with your feelings alone. Talk to a parent, teacher, older sibling, school counselor, pastor or anybody who you trust. They can talk with you about the feelings you have as well as try to stop the bullies from coming after you.
Some bullies will try to call you a snitch or tattletale because you spoke to an adult about the problem. This is just a manipulative tactic the bully is trying to use so they can continue their actions and behavior. Never fall for this tactic, because you have the right to learn in a safe and healthy environment without someone attacking you physically or verbally. What the bully is doing is wrong. Always keep that thought in your mind.
Above all else, you should never blame yourself for what is happening to you. There is absolutely no reason a person needs to bully you.
What The Bully Is Feeling
You may be wondering about what the bully gets out of this situation. Bullies are still human, going through a range of emotions themselves. While they may be lacking empathy or compassion for the person they are picking on, they may also experience many of the same feelings you are experiencing.
The bully may feel angry about themselves or something going on in their family life. They may be stressed over their grades or interpersonal relationships, afraid about how people may treat them, or depressed. Instead of the bully addressing their emotions, the bully redirects them toward their victims. They want other people to feel as bad as them. When this happens, the bully feels good about themselves as if they have control over their environments. This satisfaction can become addictive, as the bully continues with their negative behavior because they always want to have that good emotion.
Other bullies are trying to fit into a peer group. They want to have a feeling of closeness and friendship. Unfortunately, the peer group may engage in bullying tactics and expect the other person to do the same. So the bully feels pressured to engage in the bad behavior.
Bullies may also attack people verbally and physically because they are being abused themselves. They may believe this is the right behavior to show in our society as they accept that this is just a way of life.