Your ex was too controlling, so you gave him the boot. Finally, you’re rid of him and his lunatic behavior for good . . . or so you thought. Now he won’t stop calling, texting and beating on your door begging for another chance. Sometimes you’ll even catch glimpses of him following you around town. You know something’s not right, but you ignore the situation because you think he’s just having a hard time dealing with the breakup.
Breakups can be tough. There are lots of broken-hearted people who call their former beaus crying and begging for one more chance. They may even sit on the porch with a face full of tears and a fist full of crumpled flowers waiting for their exes to come home.
There is a difference between having a hard time getting over someone and stalking. Stalking is extreme behavior that can escalate into violence. There are many cases where Stalking Victims have been hurt or killed at the hands of their perpetrators.
If you are not sure you’re being stalked by your ex, here are some tell-tale signs for Stalking Victims:
- Your former partner pops up almost everywhere you go.
- You have to deal with repeated, unwanted contact or communication.
- Your ex is repeatedly sending you gifts you don’t want.
- Your ex is threatening to hurt or kill you or members of your family.
- Your former beau is threatening to commit suicide.
Stalkers are hell-bent on getting what they want, so they simply won’t take “no” for an answer. In the beginning, they seem nice and caring. When they don’t get their way, they turn into raging lunatics.
Although experts can’t pinpoint the exact reason people resort to stalking, they do know stalkers are time bombs that can explode without warning. This is why it’s important for the Stalking Victims to take measures to protect themselves.
Since there is no psychological profile for stalkers, there is no such thing as a one-size-fits all solution for dealing with one. Depending on the extent of the situation, you may need to take several of these listed approaches.
Notify the police. Unless your stalker has physically hurt or threatened you in some way, the police may not be able to arrest him when you make a report. However, when you tell the police about your situation, they will respond quicker if there is an emergency involving your address.
Get a protective order. Go to the courthouse and fill out the necessary forms for a restraining order. Once you attend the hearing and the order is granted, your ex won’t be able to contact you or come within a specified number of feet from you without legal repercussions.
Don’t try to reason with the perp. Trying to reason with the stalker or talk him into moving on with his life will only make him angrier. Your ex will likely distort what you say and turn it into a reason to amp up his hateful behavior towards you.
Keep records of encounters. Every time your ex contacts you or shows up where you are, write down the date and time the incident happened. Keep copies of any text messages, emails and letters he sends. In addition, if the stalker sends you gifts, store them in a box. If you ever need to file criminal charges, these items will serve as evidence.
Talk to your family. Sadly, when stalkers can’t get what they want from you, they might come after your family. Talk to your loved-ones about what stalkers do. If you have kids, help them understand that they should stay away from the stalker and how to get help if they are ever approached by him.
Consider getting a stun gun. If you feel like your physical safety is in jeopardy, be ready to defend yourself. A stun gun is a non-lethal way to protect yourself against physical violence.
Being stalked by someone you once trusted and loved is a hard thing to deal with. It can be tough to ignore them or watch them get hauled off to jail. Unfortunately, if you ignore stalking, the behavior will only escalate. The above measures will help you protect yourself from being injured or killed by an out of control ex.
Learn about Stalking Victims and how you can protect Stalking Victims the right way….