As a teenager, dating is something that everyone your age is doing, and you certainly do not want to be left out and made the “odd” ball”. There is a time and place for everything, but some things happen sooner than later. As a parent, you probably dread the day your little one grows up and wants to experience Teen Dating. You may sit and think about the trouble you may have put your parents through to let them let you date. Here are a few things teens and parents of teens who are dating should keep in mind.
What is Dating?
The definition of dating is when two people decide to enter a relationship, something that is more than friendship, to get to know each other better. Not many parents expect teenage relationships to last forever which is why they take extreme precaution. When people think of relationship statistics, they automatically think of the worst numbers possible. Some high school dating students get married and live happily. There are more high school relationships that end in heartbreak and disaster. When it comes to teenage dating, there are a lot of things, such as teen pregnancy, that scares parents. Dating in high school is normal but sometimes things can get out of hand. Dating should be a fun, social experience, and not an obligation or abusive relationship.
How Do I know if I’m ready to Date?
Many teenagers want to know if they are ready to date. If dating were left up to parents, teenagers would never date! Teenage dating seems like a requirement for many teenagers, but there are some teenagers who are not ready to date. Although dating should be fun and filled with great experiences, things do not always work out for the best. According to the dating statistics of Domestic Peace, one out of three high school students have or will be in an abusive relationship. One fact teens need to keep in mind is that love is not abusive or hurtful. When it comes to high school relationship statistics, Domestic Peace reveals 40 percent of teenagers; ages 14-17 know at least one person who is an abusive relationship.
Every teen believes the love statistics are always 100 percent time. Every person in their teen years experiences a relationship they believe will last for an eternity. Unfortunately, most relationships teens encounter during their teenage years will not last for eternity. The good news in this instance is every dating experience a teen endures will teach them a lesson, whether it is good or bad.
If you are not comfortable dating, it is perfectly fine. If you are not comfortable in the dating world, take comfort in being able to pick it up when you are ready. There is not a rush or time limit with teenage dating. At times, you may feel left out because you are the only one who is not in a relationship, but you need to take your time and do what you believe is best for you.
Do I Have to Date Someone because there is an Attraction?
There is no obligation to date someone because there is an attraction present. There are many different types of attractions and people catch each other’s eye for various reasons. One reason there is an attraction between two people is pheromones. Pheromones are an individual’s personal scent. It’s similar to cologne or perfume, but the smell of it and how you react to it are different.
What Happens During the First Date?
A lot of teens are eager to find out what happens during the first date. A lot of things can happen on the first date but one thing teens need to keep in mind is nothing should happen that they do not want to happen. Although you may think you are in love, love is not abuse, hurtful, or violent. Dating can be emotional, but it should never put you in harm’s way.
Will I Become Boy Crazy?
Every teen does not become “boy crazy”, but it is expected at some point. Every teen female does not find boys exciting, and there are some females who can control themselves when they are around boys. If you become boy crazy, there are a few things you need to keep in mind. The boy crazy stage for every female is different. Some teens are boy crazy until they graduate from high school, and others remain crazy about boys into adulthood. Being boy crazy is okay, but you need to learn how to control it, so it does not get out of hand.
Be Comfortable with Who You Are
One thing you must do while you are dating is be comfortable with who you are. There will be times where a girl or boy you like may have features and characteristics you do not, but this does not mean you should change who you are or the way you do things. If you are not comfortable with who you are, you cannot expect someone else to be comfortable with you.
What if My Parents Do Not Approve of My Date?
There will come a time in your teenage dating experience when your parents will not approve of the person you are dating. This dating experience can go smoothly or end in disaster. Your parents may allow you to make mistakes and figure things out on your own or the other may prefer to intervene before mistakes occur. The bottom line in this situation is; your parents have the final say. Regardless of how you feel or what you may think, as long as you live under your parent’s roof, you have to live by their rules.
Teen Dating Advice for Parents
Discuss Dating with Your Children
Dating may be one subject you prefer not to discuss with your children, but this is one discussion that must take place. You would much rather your child know how to handle themselves when the times for them to date rather than being oblivious to the situation. It’s better to give your children the correct information rather than letting their friends guide them and give them advice.
Don’t Be Afraid to Set Boundaries
You should never be afraid to set boundaries with your children. Boundaries extend further than rules. A lot of parents don’t want to seem like their child’s enemy. Setting boundaries will not make you a villain. When it comes to boundaries, you need to set boundaries for dating, and who they date if you feel the need.
Encourage Group Dating
You may be more at ease if your teen ventures on a date with a group of teens where an adult is chaperoning. The group dates can occur on the weekends and do not have to occur every weekend.
Group dating is more of a social gathering than a romantic encounter between two teens where supervision is not present.
There are some things that you should never allow if you do not want to give your teen the wrong impression about something in any given situation. One non-negotiable rule many parents have is no closed or locked doors when people of the opposite sex visit. Some parents allow their teen to have company of the opposite sex but they only host company in the living room with adult supervision. Set non-negotiable rules and stick to them.
Don’t be Too Oppressive
Parents who are too oppressive experience rebellion from their teens more than parents who allow their teens more freedom. Your teenager may not agree with every rule you set, but if you use logic and reasoning with the rules you set, they may be more open to understanding why you set them. Some parents of teenagers experience rebellion regardless of the techniques they try. In this situation, the best thing a parent can do is leave the door open for discussion while simultaneously enforcing the rules.
Provide Solid Explanations
Many parents believe they will never owe their teen an explanation of why they do the things they do, such as set rules. Although you are a parent, your child will want to find ways to bond and become closer to you. Your children will never be your equal, but they would like to have reasons for everything you decide that affects them. There is no obligation for you to explain everything you do, but as far as dating, your teen will want to receive adult treatment at some time.
One of the best things to do in this situation is to listen to what your child is saying. Explaining why you choose to do something helps your teen understand that you are not bossy because you can be, but because you care.
Instill Self-Worth in Your Teen
Self-worth is essential when it comes to dating. When you instill self-worth in your teen, they will not look for it from someone else. Self-worth and self-esteem play a major role in your teen’s life as well as dating. The more ethics and morals you instill in your teen, the less likely they will stray from the thing you teach them.
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