Sure; you’re young and feisty; you want to live your life and rock all day, sticking up for the little guy might seem to interfere with your schedule, or get you on the wrong side of someone who actually counts on the social scene at school. Learn how to Step Up to Bullying.
We are not going to tell you to put yourself in their shoes, because you’re not, and odds are you never will be. What we kindly ask you for how to step up to bullying, is to go back with your head to a moment where you were completely out of control, you were hyperventilating, arms covered with Goosebumps, and sweat all over your forehead; a time where you were genuinely panicking and afraid…
Step Up to Bullying by learning that’s how a bully-victim feels EVERY DAY.
Every day’s a challenge, and everyday’s a threat; even though they might not show it- no one wants to be pitied or become a charity case- which makes it even harder.
It’s normal to get distracted…a lot of the times we’re so preoccupied with our own plans, that we forget that we’re not always in control of our destiny… that maybe by taking the time to do a little good for someone else, it might come back to us when we most need it.
See, you can go along with your everyday life and not worry or bother, you could watch out for yourself alone; and honestly speaking, you will probably get by…but at the end of the day, when you’ve made exactly no difference, would you actually feel good? satisfied? You would still feel like something’s missing, wouldn’t you?
Because at the end of the day, when all the action’s over; you know that it’s not just about living for yourself…You know there’s something bigger, something more that you should be doing.
Decided to do something about it? Make this your new project…that you will no longer see someone being tormented and stand silent at the sidelines.
We need to be honest with you; it will take guts, and a lot of bravado, but at the end it’ll be worth it because you’ll know that you’ve paid it forward, and done your part. You’ll have peace of mind.
Step Up to Bullying: So here’s what you need to do:
what happens a lot of the times is that people underestimate the tactic skills of a bully; the movies make them out to be these dumb jocks with a low mental capacity and the manners of a Neanderthal, …It would only makes sense for them to assume that a bully has to be stupid. Reality off course always has a twist; you find your straight-A students, your “Boy/Girl next door” types, even your “bully within a community” (you’d even find a dominant member within a tight group of friends harassing other less assertive members)
Bottom line: there is no archetype of how a bullies’ persona might be, so assume that they’re just as smart as the next guy, only a whole lot more ruthless.
So once you’ve identified Mr./Ms. Terror DON’T REACT ON IMPULSE AND BLURT OUT THE FIRST THING THAT COME’S TO MIND! They might use whatever you say against you, and make you look bad; then you’ll just get discouraged and might lose the will to interfere again.
Instead observe, and strategize; get some Sherlock Holmes action going, and see where they’re coming from…
Step Up to Bullying: The types of bullies
They might be trying to be funny; becoming the alpha through a sense of humor- research has shown that people who resort to ridiculing others often have low self esteem, which they try to cover up by emphasizing the flaws of their target (the laughter aspect is a diversion from the cruelty behind both notions).
-They might be giving out subtle remarks; with an undertone of nasty- these types are my least favorite- they’re not as overt, so it’s harder to catch them in the act, but they’re still very sly and cunning. The thing about them is that even though they’re a lot smarter then the other types of bullies, they’re a lot less daring- which means they’d be afraid of giving themselves out, and would constantly consider repercussion
-Your last type is the violent-aggressive; someone who always puts their fist first-probably because they have no ulterior power- these people are likely subjected to physical discipline at their home, along with low academic achievement or other talents. They’re usually not very sharp and can be maneuvered easily.
What this means: your reaction towards each bully has to be different; with the first and last type, it probably won’t make much of a difference if you threaten to report them because they probably won’t care. You can’t negotiate with type two, because they’re completely aware of what they’re doing, and are smart enough to talk their way out of it etc…
Step Up to Bullying: Then how do you approach them?
Step Up to Bullying: First things first, Don’t become a bully yourself.
The road to hell is paved with good intentions- just because they’re mean to others, doesn’t give you have an excuse to be mean to them; you’d only be entering a nasty cycle.
-if you sense that the situation will get out of hand, you need to report it, no one wants to be a squeal, but sometimes it’s the only option to avoid a major crisis.
Step Up to Bullying: Tailor your reaction according to their type
With the third type (if they’re beating someone or physically hurting them) you want to step in right away to stop them hurting the other person. First you have to distract them in order to get their attention (without getting physically involved so you don’t end up taking the beating) then you have to mentally challenge them (in order to give the victim a chance to escape) finally you need to confuse them (to be able to walk away smoothly) I can’t help you with the specifics, because you’re the only one familiar with the bully and area, so you’ll be able to tailor it accordingly.
With type two, you need to let them know that if they don’t stop- you will report them. In this case they’d be facing suspension, and having this on their record. Their bullying might be too covert to be seriously held against them, but the threat itself would be enough to reign them. If that doesn’t suffice, then your only choice is to outwit them; observe what they exploit in others, and see what you can make of it.
Type One: type one bullies are slightly easier to reason with, because they’re mainly just insecure; you need to make it clear that they’re not being funny-blow their cover- if they’re unresponsive and don’t refrain from embarrassing their victims, then get others involved; let them know that they could be the next target, and ask them not to humor the bully or laugh at their jokes. By losing their audience and the attention they get, they’ll no longer have a drive to continue.
Figure out the best way to deal with them– if they’re smart, you can be smarter because you actually have a good cause- don’t let them wear you down. It will be a challenge, but you can rise up to it.
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