Signs your Child is being Bullied
It’s already difficult to witness other children or teens bullying someone else, but it will be harder when you see that your child is the one who is being bullied by the others. The feelings you’ll feel towards the bullying incident will be much complicated than when you witness your child to be the bully in some circumstances. If you’re the parent of the bully, you may simply have to apply disciplinarian acts and send your child to counseling sessions to set things right. Perhaps you may do something to make up to the victim and his family but the complicatedness of the matters might end there. You may not have to deal with worries about your child isolating himself from you and his friends. You might not further witness your child cringe in pain as the experience of being bullied arises in his mind. We are not saying that your tasks as the bully’s parents are very easy but all we are pointing out is that the hurt the parents of the bully may feel towards the incident would perhaps be lesser compared to the hurt the parents of the victim may undergo because of the bullying phenomena. We say ‘may’ because not everyone will feel what we have just described earlier.
Signs your Child is being Bullied, how can you tell?
But what if you have not witness your child to be bullied by others yet you suspect that he is being targeted as a victim outside your home? What exactly will you do? As parents of children or teens who might be prone to being bullied or even to become the bullies, you may need to understand first the psychological profile of your child. Bullies and victims would have some certain characteristics that will make them vulnerable to either become the bully or the victim. The profile of a victim in bullying incidents for that matter points to someone who lacks enough social skills to help him adjust to his environment. Most children and teens can fend off bullying attacks by humoring the bully but with the victim, he is easily emotionally aroused and he is unable to defend himself from the attacks even if the defending does not have to take the form of a physical defense. When your child has these traits and you notice that something is not right with his usual behavior then you can safely assume that he might be going through some bullying phenomena.
There are other ways to detect if your your Child is being Bullied for some time. One of the first things to look into to know if your Child is being Bullied is of course physical manifestations like unexplainable bruises and missing or damaged belongings. When these are not present, since bullying does not necessarily have to occur in a physical level, then look into behavioral changes. Among these behavioral changes would be your child or teen constantly coming home with hunger pains when he is supposed to have his own lunch money. Someone might be taking all that money from him. Another would be being extremely irritable and easily upset about different things. Your kid or teen might already be experiencing extreme stress within and the only outlet he knows to release this stress would be through his mood changes. Withdrawal and isolation can also be a sign that he is being bullied, and he does these things more when you inquire about how his day was. There are circumstances too that he might give hints regarding his experience like when he says that his days has “too much drama” in them or he says “fine but….”. When these things frequently come up in your conversations than something is amiss and you might want to probe more into his experience.
You might be wondering why your child or teen doesn’t come out clean with his bullying experience. He isn’t telling you anything because he is afraid that he might disappoint you. Being the victim of bullying is certainly a humiliating experience and your kid might not want to deepen his humiliation by having you know about the bullying. Furthermore, he is not telling you things because he probably wants to be in control and prove that he can overcome the incidents. Of course, this may not necessarily turn out well for him as the bullying may only escalate. Eventually, he’ll only find himself in a very helpless situation. Another reason why he is revealing stuff is that he is afraid too that the bully might know about this and will give the bully additional power over bullying him more. After all, who wants to have a squealer kid or teen?
Given that you find yourself in the situation where your Child is being Bullied, what then should you do to help your kid out cope up with his experience?
The very first logical step once you find out that your child or teen is a bullying victim is to seek more about your kid’s experience and listen well to the things that are being said or not being said. It is best to ask your kid the details of the bullying phenomenon. This way, you will not be missing out any information that can help you later should the problem get complicated. Regardless whether it’s cyber bullying or real-life bullying, you will need to find out about the identity of the bully. Your kid will not immediately tell you about who the bully is and you will need to accept that. It isn’t advisable to press for the bully’s identity because you’ll only be making it worse for him. Remember that your kid’s afraid and upset, demanding more information from him all at once will just add to his stress. If you can find other means to find out about the bully, then engage these means, just don’t pressure your kid. It’s better not to ask too why such had happened. Your kid doesn’t know why he is targeted as the victim by other kids, all he knows is he is experiencing complicated emotions about being the victim.