13 Signs of Emotional Abuse within a Relationship

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An abusive relationship consists of many different components.  Some people are not aware they are in an abusive relationship because they think abuse consists of only physical abuse.  In many abusive relationships, emotional abuse is a major factor.  Here are 13 signs of emotional abuse within a relationship.

|SEE ALSO: Emotional Child Abuse|

1. Communicating Threats

You may find yourself in a situation where you are ready to leave your partner, but they don’t want you to leave, so they play the suicide card or threaten to harm you.  Some people threaten to commit suicide if their partner leaves them or threaten to harm the other person if they end the relationship.  Whether you believe they will follow through with their threats or not, this is a relationship that is toxic and headed down the wrong road.

2. Requiring Constant Communication

Someone who calls your phone or texts your phone every minute, on the minute is annoying, and it is also a sign of emotional abuse.  When you are not around your partner, and they text every few minutes, this is a sign that they are controlling.  If they want to know where you are and who you are with every time you leave the home or go somewhere without them, this is another sign of emotional abuse.

3. Using Money and Power to Dominate

One of the most common signs of emotional abuse in relationships is one partner using money as power to dominate the other partner.  Domination occurs more in men than women, but there are some women who dominate the relationship.  When a partner uses money to dominate the relationship, it is likely the other partner does not have income or makes less than the other partner.  In a marriage, women often stay home and care for their house while the husband is at work.  In this situation, the wife may have little to no income and solely depends on the husband for money.  The domination occurs when one partner withholds money or uses it as an allowance for things the other partner in a relationship can or cannot do.

4. Using the Isolation Technique

If the person you are with has an issue with you spending time with your family and friends, this will get worse in the near future.  Isolation is another relationship controlling technique that people use to keep their partner away from loved ones.  A person may move their mate far away from their family and friends, making it difficult for them to visit often.

5. Giving the “Guilt Trip”

Many people are familiar with the guilt trip within a relationship.  The guilt trip is one of the many signs of emotional abuse within a relationship.  You may do nothing wrong, but your partner may be trying to cover up their mistakes or wrong-doings, and it’s convenient to place the blame on you to make you feel you are at fault.

6. Not Showing Love or Affection

Love and affection are two things that help a relationship thrive.  These two things help build the foundation of an awesome relationship.  When some people are mad, they give their partner the silent treatment or withdraw their love and affection from the relationship to make their partner feel bad.  Sometimes one person in the relationship stops showing love and affection for attention purposes.

7. Embarrassing You Every Chance They Get

It is okay to make a joke here or there, but constantly making fun of someone and belittling them are common signs of emotional abuse in marriage.  Signs of emotional abuse in children and signs of an emotionally abusive relationship in general are similar.  Belittling is one of the most common signs of an emotional abuser.  No relationship should make you feel you are worthless or less than.

8. Excluding You from Events and Other Situations

One of the most frequent emotionally abusive relationship signs is exclusion from events and other activities.  It is one thing to have alone time from time to time, but it is another to exclude the other person in the relationship from everything the other partner is doing.  Excluding a partner in a relationship from going out to eat sometimes, and visiting family members and friends are forms of exclusion.  If you notice your partner is always away from the home while you are sitting at home alone, you may have a lot of things to reconsider.

9. Extramarital Affairs

Regardless of how well or how terrible a relationship is, extramarital affairs should not occur.  If you or your partner feel the need to have an extramarital affair, you both should end the relationship.  If you feel you want to be with someone else, it’s best to tell your partner instead of leading them on and causing issues in the near future.

10. Taking Provocative Manners with People of the Other Sex

Taking provocative liberties with a person of the other sex is not acceptable.  Extreme flirting is one of the many signs of emotionally abusive relationship that people outside of the relationship notice, such as family and friends.  Being a polite gentleman or lady is courteous, but being provocative with others should not occur.

11. Being Unreasonably Jealous 

A little jealousy is common and an expectation in any relationship, but there is something known as unreasonable jealousy.  Unreasonable jealousy takes a toll on the relationship because it creates drama and unnecessary problems.  Extreme jealousy can cause a person to experience a series of emotions, such as anger, despair, depression, and frustration.

12. Using Domination and Control

Domination can become an issue in any relationship quickly.  A dominating and controlling person displays different types of anger, confusion, and frustration.  There are two types of people in a relationship; dominating and submissive.  The controlling person in the relationship does not necessarily aggressive or out of control, but things can escalate quickly in any given situation.  The controlling person in the relationship is the partner who takes charge.  The submissive person in the relationship is the partner who goes along with the flow of things and is more of a follower than a leader.  Domination becomes an issue within a relationship when things become violent.  Isolation and other negative things occur in the relationship that shouldn’t.

13. Constantly Putting You Down

Every relationship has their ups and downs, and there will be disagreements.  One thing that should not occur within a relationship is constant put-downs and rude remarks or comments.  When you are in a relationship, regardless of the situation at hand, you should never be put down or insulted by your partner.  A lot of people say things in the heat of the moment because they are mad, and this is understandable, but everything becomes an issue when the put-downs are frequent.  Your partner should not make you have negative thoughts or feelings about you.

Learn the Cycle of Abuse

There are four phases in the abuse cycle: tension building, incident, reconciliation, and the calm period.

Phase 1-Tension Building

During phase one of the abuse cycle, the tension between two people escalates and communication is minimal.  Couples stop speaking to one another for a period until one partner breaks the silence.

Phase 2- The Incident

Phase two of emotional abuse is when emotional and verbal abuse occurs.  During phase two, partners blame one another, they argue a lot, and threats and intimidation is common.

Phase 3-Reconciliation

Reconciliation is phase three of the abuse cycle.  During phase three, the abuser in the relationship tries to make up for their abusive behavior.  The reconciliation phase in the abuse cycle is when the abuser gives its victim excuses for their abusive behavior.

Phase 4- The Calming Period

Phase four is the calming period and last phase in the abuse cycle.  During the calming period, the victim forgives the abuser in the relationship and abuse is not currently taking place.

3 Signs of Emotional Abuse from Parents

Rejection: Emotional abuse should never come from parents, but, unfortunately, it does.  One of the most common signs of emotional abuse signs from parents is rejection.  Rejection in the form of emotional abuse includes name-calling, refusing attention, shunning the child away from family and kicking teenagers out of the home.

Isolation: Isolation in the form of emotional abuse includes leaving a child alone for a long period.  Isolation also includes not letting a child interact with other children, requiring a child to stay in their room or indoors to stay away from other children or siblings, extreme punishment.  Encouraging a child to reject other children is another form of isolation.

Exploitation: Exploitation involves requiring a child to care for younger siblings and expecting the child to perform duties and tasks that exceed their developmental stage or age range.  Other forms of exploitation include forcing a child to participate in unwanted activities and to cause a child to feel ashamed and unwanted.

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