In Wellbeing

How to Let Go of Self-Loathing and Learn Self Love

self love

A person cannot achieve total wellness and excellent health without learning to at least appreciate their own selves. Unfortunately, most people fail in this regard. That is why sad realities like abusive relationships, bullying, and suicidal tendencies are abound in this world. They are all a result of low self-esteem and a lack of self love with the people involved.

What Happens When There is Lack of Self Love?

Every individual’s attitude and even their personality is determined by how much love they have for themselves. The dangerous part is that they try to compensate for that perceived lack of love from their surroundings by engaging in behaviors with varying intensity of destructiveness. Even worse, that destruction is aimed more towards themselves rather than the outside world.

One of the more apparent effects of low self-esteem or a lack of self love is depression. Depression usually arises when people realize that there is so much that they think they lack and they mistakenly think that these perceived deficiencies are the reasons why other people do not love them as much as they want others to. Because of that, they work hard to compensate for their shortcomings but with the adverse effect of alienating others in their surroundings.

Lack of self-esteem can also give rise to behavior that is similar to what is called the Napoleonic complex, or a behavior in which a person makes up for what he or she lacks through aggressive behavior and a domineering attitude. This aggressiveness is expressed in many different ways. Some people may become overly loud with their achievements, while others become really assertive in attempting to dominate conversations. These are just some manifestations of the complex that arises due to a lack of a positive regard towards the self.

Unfortunately, they have the unpleasant effect of making people want to dislike the other person with the Napoleonic complex. The behavior then becomes counter-productive. Instead of gaining new friends, the person instead succeeds in pushing other people away. What happens is that the person’s self-esteem continues to suffer.

What is Self Love? – Understanding Self-Love More

What is self love? Psychology Today describes it as a state in which a person’s appreciation for his or her own self grows with each action that achieves positive results. Such actions should also realize the person’s need for self-actualization at the physical, psychological, and spiritual level. This means that learning self love is only possible when individuals take the steps necessary to render their own shortcomings irrelevant to the pursuit of growth while appreciating the stronger points of their own personalities.

In other words, to know what is self love, a person needs to not only acknowledge the weaknesses and strengths that exists in his or her own unique personality but also to actions that will affirm these strengths. It is important to let go of these weaknesses and attain personal growth. This can be accomplished through several methods using quotes about self love, self love affirmations, among others.

Suggestions for Learning to Love Oneself

The following activities should be helpful in guiding people who are suffering from self-esteem and self-love issues towards achieving a proper appreciation of the uniqueness of their own personalities’ along with the quirks and perks that come along with it.

1. Look Only at the Positive Most of the Time

The first step is to wrench the mind from the burden of negative thought. Instead of seeing how the cup is half empty, people should learn to interpret it as being half full instead. When an opportunity is lost, individuals should learn to see it as a means of opening another door for a better opportunity. Learn to see the light instead of the shadow that it brings.

2. Do Not Let Negativity Have a Place in Life

Negativity is toxic. No matter how much effort a person exerts to achieve a positive mindset, anyone that allows negative people to surround them will ultimately be crippled. These energy vampires will always point out the negative aspects in any person’s life including their own. Thus, they take away the focus on the positive that self love affirmations are supposed to achieve. Because of that, they keep people from achieving self-love and appreciation.

3. Nurture Strengths and Downplay Weaknesses

Nurturing their strengths is a good way for people to increase their appreciation for their own selves, while setting weaknesses aside will keep them from thinking about what they lack. They also achieve personal happiness and satisfaction along the way as they realize they are actually capable of what they thought they were incapable of in the past. Self love affirmations and self love meditation helps to nturture strengths and downplay weaknesses.

4. Learn Forgiveness

A person does not have to be religious in order to learn the concept of forgiveness. Forgiveness means letting go of what has been weighing that person down. Forgiveness is to leave behind excess baggage that can only slow individuals down in their journey towards self-actualization and happiness.

5. When Things Get Rough, Take a Step Back to Relax

This world is so competitive that everyone is pushing themselves to their limits without even thinking about scaling things down a bit to relax. This burns people out. When pressure mounts and stress threatens to overwhelm, everyone should take a moment to sit back, relax, and do some self love meditation or read quotes about self love.

6. Learn to Realize That Not Everything is Certain

People can become control freaks thanks to the stressful and competitive world of today. When they cannot control the situation, they start blaming and beating up themselves for a perceived mistake. The truth is, no one can fully control the circumstances that lead to certain predicaments. Accepting this limitation is important for a person to acknowledge his or her limits and forgiving themselves for any shortcomings that are beyond their control.

7. Acknowledge Their Own Worth

Some people get into deals that are actually disadvantageous for them while others blindly try to impress other people in the vain hope they will be recognized. Doing so actually puts these people in a bad light. If they love and appreciate their own selves, they will only stick to arrangements that will honor and benefit them as a person. Reading self love quotes is a great way to acknowledge self worth.

8. Unwind Every Once in a While

In their mad pursuit of success, people forget their physical limits and do their bodies more harm than good. It is definitely a good idea to take the opportunity to unwind every once in a while. They should go on vacation with their friends and loved ones or pick up a new hobby that will keep them busy on weekends and keep their minds exercised and challenged. While on a trip, it may be a good idea to think about what is self love and carry reminders using self love quotes.

9. Avoid Bottling Up Emotions and Thoughts

One situation that contributes to hidden frustration is when an individual is unable to express himself or herself. This can apply to work when that person is unable to make suggestions or when someone is unable to be heard. This could be applicable to the home as well. People should encourage themselves to speak out and be heard or at least find ways to release pent-up emotion or energy and avoid getting themselves from getting stressed by unreleased thoughts or feelings. Using self love quotes or self love meditation often helps with dealing with these feelings.

10. Learn Positive Visualization

Visualization has been cited by many successful individuals as the key behind their triumphs. This means that people should always keep in mind their goals and ambitions while they work hard to achieve them. However, these visualizations should always be positive. Acknowledging these strengths and plus points in an individual’s personality will help to achieve the desired results.

11. Do Not Dwell on the Past

No one has a perfect life. Everyone’s past has memories that are both good and bad. People should accept that past as what it is and they cannot change any bad things that may have happened yesterday. It is no use dwelling too much on the past because it distracts people from their real goal; and that is the achievement of self-love and personal happiness.

12. Read Books That Can Help Guide Them in Their Journey

Literature is more than just a means to entertain people. They can also act as guidelines. People should read good self-help books or pick quotes about self love that they can use as daily motivation. Self love quotes and information on self love meditation can be easily obtained through the Internet, so there is no excuse for anyone not to pick their own mottos to encourage them.

13. Everything Should Begin When They Wake Up

The best time to make self love affirmations is when waking up. It is definitely a good idea to be thankful for the new day instead of waking up grumbling about problems that are waiting in the office. Take things one step at a time. Those problems deserve to be addressed in the office and not in the home; especially when waking up after a good night’s sleep.

Learning self love should be an ongoing exercise. Changes cannot be expected overnight but a great way to start is to memorize a few quotes about self love. Everyone should understand that this pursuit should be undertaken with an eye for the long-term. There is no shortcut, but taking the first step is the most important decision anyone can make towards achieving self-appreciation and high self-esteem. Most of all, it is vital that people learn not to give up even during the most difficult of times. Instead, they should keep their eyes continuously looking forward towards their goal of learning self-appreciation.

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