As parents, it takes a tremendous amount of responsibility to teach a child to develop the basics of right and wrong. Whether you notice it or not, children are always watching how you interact with others and if you have taught them a lesson, how you maintain that same standard. To teach a child how to respect others, how to share, and how to take responsibility takes time and patience to really be confident your child isn’t learning unethical habits.
An important connection between you and your child is the ability to read into the teaching moments brought towards you, as a parent you can choose to ignore these teaching moments or you can attack them to help benefit reinforce the idea that you are your child’s best example. My Young Child is a website that lists and offers the selling of books strictly focused to help children learn about the basics of right and wrong.
The website contains books listed for
- Toddlers to 2 yrs
- Children ages 3-5
- Children ages 5-7
Toddlers, at this age, and in the early stages of learning how to speak and talk, are also becoming more aware or the outside world, and how it affects their own self. Toddlers to the age of two are more susceptible to “do it yourself” play with the child trying to take things into their own hands. Many of the play times will be with a parent and child working side by side instead of on a project together.
Between the ages of 3 and 5 years children are moving into a much bigger world. It is at this stage that children are becoming more social and more involved with dramatic play. Dramatic play is a branching change between reality and imagination, while the child is pretending he or she is married in the toy house they are already using what they have seen parents act like around them and reusing those actions with the children around them.
In the ages of 5 to 7 years, the children majorly shift from a small ability to generalize what’s going on around them and to make assumptions into an active participation in the surrounding areas for a reason. Children at this age are becoming more abstract thinkers and are beginning to consciously see that the actions in their dramatic play or the habits they have unknowingly formed while watching the parent have forming into their knowledge of right and wrong.
Many parents think that by just repeating phrases over and over again their children will have the good values of any good citizen. As parents, it’s in our nature to instill our own moral beliefs and values into our children. However, it’s all easier said than done when competing for the time in each child’s life. With outside influence like television and the internet parents are losing more and more time with their children. What’s the solution? You make time.
While everyday chatter might seem life more than enough it’s important to have moments where you can sit with your child with no distractions or other concerns to get to know how they are and if they need help. As parents, you also need to understand that children will look at you seriously and then run off a moment later without hearing a word you have said. To fix this, we have combined 5 practical suggestions to work on everyday interactions with your children.
- Model Good Values and apologize when you make mistakes
- Share personal experiences
- Hold children accountable for mistakes
- Involve your children in encouraging and helping others
- Applaud good behavior
Many parents forget that one of the most primary teaching tools around your home is themselves. Children will watch and observes your actions as a template for how to behave and act. To make sure your child will exhibit values like honesty and compassion you need to show these qualities yourself. However nobody is perfect, when you make a mistake always acknowledge it and let your child know that you understand what you did is wrong and that you will learn from these mistakes for the future. The real impact comes from talking and discussing problems and actions with your child. If you are not honest and open they will see that you are acting one way in front of them and another way when they’re not there..and think it’s okay to do that as well.
In addition to being a learning tool for your child you are also an example. Many of us can look back into our own childhood to see what mistakes and decision lead up to a lot of memorable experiences and life lessons. Don’t be afraid to share them with your child. These stories describe yourself learning and growing just as they are doing now. As a parent, it is important that they learn from your mistakes so they don’t have to go through the same things you do now.
Even though all of this teaching and sharing your child may get into trouble a few times in their live. Many parental instincts are to rush into the situation of immediately make things between for their children. Instead parents need to stop and understand that children need to learn the actions have consequences. Another important fact is that many children may not know that what they did was wrong so as a parent you’ll need to sit down and discuss the problem and come up with a solution that will both solve the conflict and help your child know that he is learning consequences.
Many children learn from experience in doing good deeds and learning hands on what a person with good values is capable of doing. With many kids the smallest act of kindness is an important stepping stone for guiding them into an understanding of ethical values and understanding what is right and wrong. Parents should motivate their children to do these kinds of things and showing kids that giving back to others is a way to practice the values you’re trying to instill in them.
When a child has taken all of the core values, you have been trying to teach them and respond by doing something good in return it’s important to take them aside and to let them know that they are good and you are happy with what they have done. Not only do your children watch you but also you are their role models. By letting them know you are happy with their actions you reinforce their habits and in turn let them know they are improving on their values.
No matter what your child is facing whether it’s a bullying problem or being surrounded by peer pressure, many children are very inclined to fall into the spiral of bullying whether it’s from being bullied or by doing the bullying. Many children and unable to understand what they are doing is right or wrong but the ones who do understand are in need of strong parental guidance.
To understand bullying you need to understand the reasons behind bullies. Many bully to feel a sense of power and control even though many bullies feel insecure and helpless on the inside. Bullies target kids who are ways to pick on, who are different in race, looks or size. Bullying is a harsh outlet for he aggressive behavior and defiant actions. In an attempt to prevent your children from becoming bullies, here are a few ways to take control of bullying.
The most important way of dealing with bullying is to understand and take it seriously. Children’s main concern is that they are not being heard or understood so it’s important for parents to let them know that no matter how small the squabble, any child’s problem is important.
A way to let your child know you are taking any bullying issue seriously is to be involved with your child’s social life. Many children hide their problems with vague answers and non-descriptive explanations about how school was. Always take the time to remember the small details so you can let your child know you were listening to them the day before and remembered what they were discussing. If you continue this, it makes your child more likely to talk to you about bullying situations.
Finally, when a child comes to you with a bullying situation always allow them to speak first and let them tell you how you want their situation to be handled. While you may want to spring into action to fight off any bullies, many children simply want these problems to go away. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t discuss the situation with teachers. As long as the trust between parent and child isn’t broken your child will still feel comfortable to go to you with new problems later on. The issue of bullying is about ethics and goes beyond right and wrong.