At the beginning of a relationship when there are little or no expectations, things are normally better. When the couple is first together, it is natural to only see the great qualities your partner has, until problems begin to arise. However, said problems can be avoided if the couple learns how to look out for relationship red flags that may put them in trouble. Knowing smaller indications will help the couple rebalance their priorities and get their relationship back on track. In most cases the couple will encounter more than one relationship red flag. When their relationship becomes unhappy, unfulfilling, and unhealthy, it is time for the couple to pause for a moment and try to find the right balance in their relationship. Increased conflict, lack of time together, and elevation of anger, resentment, or distance are some relationship red flags that most people tend to ignore or are unable to identify. Here are some of the most common relationship red flags every couple needs to figure out and cope with.
|SEE ALSO: Relationship Abuse|
Doing All the Work
In most cases this happens with women when they start doing all the hard work and their partner is almost not investing into the relationship as they should. Women feel they are taken advantage of and will start seeking constant reassurance from their partners. However, this reassurance is usually momentary and fleeting.
When Sorry Becomes the Hardest Word
When a person is unable to see that they have done something wrong, it becomes hard for them to apologize. By not admitting that he or she has made a mistake, the person shows unwillingness to apologize and more issues begin to emerge, possibly even ruining the entire relationship.
Being Too Private
Keeping information that should be out in the open will make both partners lose their sense of trust. While keeping a private space is healthy, being too private will probably make the other person feel suspicious and may sabotage the entire relationship.
This normally happens when one of the partners finds it difficult to express how they feel. They find it uneasy to spell out their emotions, so they communicate through moodiness, or sometimes even by giving their partner the silent treatment.
Being with a Drama Queen
Drama queens always tend to look for faults in their partners and get them exposed. If they cannot find a critical flaw in their significant other, they attempt to find faults in someone else to keep the drama going.
Having Problems with Significant Family Members or Friends
Hearing criticism about a new partner may not be welcome, but it is always a good idea to get a third perspective that may help you see things more clearly. It is hard to be objective especially in the beginning of a relationship when overexcitement prevails. So the couple should listen to what others are saying about this significant other.
Blaming others for previous break-ups is also one of many relationship red flags. Considering other aspects, chances are low that it merely happened because of someone else’s fault. It is unfair to think that only one of the couple caused the end of the relationship without the other contributing to its failure.
Arguing All the Time
If someone is always picking up arguments with you, he or she is probably looking for a fight. Compliments that were evident in the beginning of the relationship are now turning into complaints. In this stage, couples are advised to try to fix things before they turn cynical and negative.
Lack of Trust
Giving out the other’s secret and exposing the other person will only increase the tension and make it hard for the couple to manage the relationship. Lying is also another form of violating trust. In fact, lying to the other person removes any sense of truth and triggers a sense of insecurity between the couple.
One of the couple may be jealous of the other’s relationships or might only have the need to control and limit their partner’s world. To control their partner, the person follows the strategy of “divide and conquer.” The plan is to keep them away from their friends and family or even in some extreme cases make their partner choose them over any other significant person.
Insecurity emerges when one or both partners start having doubts on where they are standing in the relationship. They feel they are not moving forward or building on their experiences and begin to feel uncomfortable about the progress of their relationship. Normally what happens is that one of the partners does double the work, while the other puts very little contribution into the relationship.
Having Loose Ends
Some people constantly complain about how things ended up in their past relationships, always putting the blame on the other person. They refuse to take any responsibility for their role in the relationship’s failure. Chances are, if they have done it before, they are likely to repeat it again with you.
Being Built on Need
If a relationship is mostly built on fulfilling one’s needs or on the desire to feel needed, there will be little space for real growth. One of the partners feels that the other must do certain things to feel secure or to feel needed without actively contributing to the success of the shared relationship. This may let the other person feel they are taken advantage of to fill in a certain role or fulfill a specific need.
When Laughter Becomes Rare and Surprises Are Less
Happy couples love to laugh together and enjoy life despite the stresses they encounter. But when laughter is rare, it becomes harder for the couple to keep the relationship going. Also when they stop surprising each other, they are not allowing room for excitement and they will probably try to fight the routine through someone else or other activities that do not involve their significant other.
Wanting to Modify the Other’s Personality
Judging your significant other’s looks or trying to alter their personality to fit yours is unfair in all sorts of relationships. It sends the message that the other person is not enough for you and does not fulfill your needs.
Our first encounters with intimate relationships are normally more difficult because we are still new in the experience. We do not know what we are doing or what to expect, so we most likely fall victim to relationship red flags. Most people try to cope without seriously addressing the issues they encounter over the course of their relationship. However, relationship red flags do not have to be a nightmare for the couple. When each partner has a better understanding of their values, beliefs, and emotions, they are more able to handle relationship red flags in a way that can make their present experience more successful than previous ones.