Finding a man is easy; finding the right man can seem downright impossible! There is no shortage of relationship advice for women available, but so much of the advice offered by so-called experts isn’t based on a sense of equality nor respect, which can doom your relationship before it ever has a chance.
Relationship Advice: Basic Tips for a Successful Love Life
Finding a successful love match does not have to be difficult. But you do need to follow some of these relationship tips to ensure a good match.
Get to Know Yourself
It is time to get real. There are wonderful things about you; and there are some annoying things about you. Your mate is going to notice both. The best relationship advice ever offered was to get to know you. Show off your strengths and acknowledge your weaknesses. Building a successful relationship isn’t just about finding the perfect mate; it is also about knowing who you are, being comfortable in your own skin; and working to improve the stuff you (and your mate) don’t like. No one else is going to be able to love you if you do not love yourself. Once you know who you are as an independent person, you will be able to build a strong and lasting life with someone else.
Know What You Want
Knowing what you can live with — and what you cannot handle is essential to building a love affair that can last a lifetime. A potential mate does not have to be a carbon copy of yourself (that would be boring), but they should share your ideals, beliefs and goals. Otherwise, you may find yourself compromising on the most important things in life, and that can make you miserable. For instance, if you long to have children and your mate hates kids, all the relationship advice in the world isn’t going to solve your problem and make either of you happy.
Long distance relationships are becoming more and more common these days, which is also causing some real strain among couples. While compromise is essential, an important piece of long distance relationship advice is to not overlook habits, mannerisms and beliefs simply to keep the peace. Dig into your mate’s thought processes so you can see what kind of man he really is. This is even more important when dating online, since it can be harder to get to know “the real” person.
Keep an Open Mind
Yes, it is important to avoid settling for less than you deserve, but it is just as important to keep an open mind when building a new relationship. Just because your mate does not seem to fit a certain type, or has some habits you don’t appreciate, does not mean that he is not your soul mate. Actually, he may be exactly the kind of guy you need. Love is not – and should not be – measured by a checklist of must-haves you come up with. Building a relationship requires finding a person who can bring out the best in you while also challenging the way you think and act. The same is true for the way you complete and challenge him as a person and partner. Saying yes to someone you never thought you would pay much attention to can bring a lot of unexpected surprises into your life.
Become His Ideal Partner
If there is one piece of timeless relationship advice for women, it is this: become his ideal partner. Now, that certainly does not mean that you have to be flawless or that you have to live up to his idea of a perfect mate. What it does mean is that you should strive to give your best to your relationship and build a partnership where he can count on you too. Men need someone they can trust. An ideal partner is someone who can offer advice when needed, but who also knows when to keep quiet and simply be a listening ear. Being an ideal mate isn’t about meeting his every expectation, but rather, being the kind of partner who brings out the best in him and who is always there, no matter how hard things get. Having someone you know will be there after a rough day (or year) and who is willing to share the ups as well as the downs, is essential to any long lasting relationship or marriage. Do your best to be that kind of person for your mate.
Open Your Heart
You would think that this would be obvious, but too many women (and men too) simply lack the ability to truly open their hearts to their partner. No one wants to feel as if they are alone in a relationship and if you don’t make an effort to love and respect your partner, your pairing is not going to last long.
Talk – A Lot!
Women need lots of communication – men, not so much. Unfortunately a good relationship depends on each partner sharing their thoughts, feelings and dreams with one another. Without good communication, feelings get hurt; misunderstandings become commonplace, and marriages fall apart.
Be One Another’s Best Friends
New relationships are often built on friendship. You enjoy each other’s company, and friendship turns into more. The trouble is, too many couples lose the friendship part of their relationship as time goes by. Life begins to erode their friendship. Take time to enjoy each other’s company as friends from time to time. Forget the love affair and just hang out. You might be surprised at how much it helps you stay fresh, as individuals and as a couple.
Have Each Other’s Back
All-too-often, there are more than two people in a relationship. Friends bug in, offering their opinion on what one or the other partner should do. Family too has a way or worming their way into relationships, causing havoc. The best way to keep others from ruining your relationship is make a commitment to each other to always have the others back. Don’t gripe to family and friends about the others faults and never ask for their relationship advice. You will get much more than you asked for! Instead, keep your problems to yourselves and if you need outside help, find a neutral party to discuss conflicts with. If a friend or family member complains about your significant other, don’t get pulled into a discussion. Simply tell the person they are wrong (even if they are right) and walk away. Negative remarks should be avoided at all costs. Maybe consider couples therapy.
Spend Time Together
Once the newness wears off, relationships often become stale. This can send each partner off to their own parts of the house. It can even send them out into the world alone looking for excitement. While it is perfectly fine (and normal) to spend time with individual friends or on your own once in awhile, no relationship can thrive without spending time together. Plan date nights or special activities to do together on a regular basis. No matter how busy life has become, be sure to schedule time together – alone. RedBook Mag gives these exciting date night ideas.
This can be especially difficult for couples involved in a long distance relationship. Regardless of how far apart you live, make plans to talk on the phone, Skype, or meet each other’s family and friends via conference calls. Plan trips to visit one another and generally become involved in each other’s lives.
Remember to Have Fun
If you have been in a relationship for any length of time, there are going to be problems. Life tends to get in the way, causing chaos in even the most perfect of unions. One way to combat the stresses of everyday life is to simply have fun together. Find an activity you enjoy, take an evening to relax, watch a good movie, or play a card game. Do something spontaneous and fun just for the heck of it.
Relationship advice comes in all forms. Your friends tell you one thing; your mother another. Then you check out social media for the answers and get bombarded with all sorts of conflicting relationship tips. So what’s the answer?
Basically, there is no sole answer to how to navigate a relationship. Finding someone to love and building a long lasting relationship together takes commitment, respect, understanding, patience and of course, love. Every couple must find their own recipe for success. If they work together to build the kind of relationship they are after, nothing is going to stop them from enduring for a lifetime.