In Anti Bullying Help, Bullying Help

OP-ED: Understanding How To Deal With Bullies

How to deal with bullies?

Bullies have existed long before you and I and they come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. They also use a broad variety of methods. Normally a bully bullies based on their particular psychological make up. Even though there are different types of bullies and different ways to be bullied, the ability to understand how to deal with bullies is essential in addressing the issue as a whole.

More and more emphasis is being placed on the issue of bullying and the damage that it does to those that are bullied, both short and long term. One of the most effective ways to deal with bullying is to teach children how deal with bullies when they encounter it. No matter what you are dealing with in life, one of the most powerful tools to have at your disposal is empowerment. Empowerment is a liberator from so much that inhibits us in this life. It is no different when learning how to deal with bullies.

Learning how to deal with bullies empowers those that are being bullied to take appropriate action to help better their own situations. It helps to eliminate the feeling of helplessness that is often associated with being the victim of bullying.

There are a number of steps that can be taken to help prepare a child on how to deal with bullies .

  1. Take the time to learn the particular type of bully that you are dealing with. Observe how they treat others, as well as how they react in certain situations. As I mentioned earlier there are different types of bullies that are prone to certain methods. Understand the type of bully that you are dealing with will provide valuable insight on the best way to deal with them.
  • There are aggressive bullies who are more prone to using physical bullying tactics and normally without any hesitation. Despite the old belief, direct confrontation is not the route to take with this type of bully. This bully has already proven that they don’t mind resorting to violence, don’t give them a reason.
  • Some bullies are verbal in their assaultive behaviour. They like to taunt and tease their victims. They normally do this by name calling, cracking derogatory jokes, and teasing the victim.
  • You also have those that use the indirect approach, they cause damage by spreading rumors or excluding those they don’t like from certain activities. Some will say that it is a good practice to defend yourself against the rumors by telling others the truth. Often it is best to ignore the rumors and lies that are being spread, without fuel fire burns out.
  • There are cyber bullies which are kids who use the internet to harass others. This is becoming more and more prominent and the potential of social media posts going viral expands the magnitude and the force of the bullying. There have been numerous reports of teens killing themselves as a result of cyber-bullying. The best way to deal with cyber bullies is to delete them from all of your accounts and sever all contact with them. Do not attempt to respond to their posts as that only fuels the flames.
  1. Attempt to avoid bullies whenever possible. If you know that they are going to be at a certain place or event and you can avoid that place or event, do so. When you have to be present in the same place with a bully be sure to get close to a trusted adult. Do not attempt to engage the bully or reason with him. There is a key to this particular tactic; don’t let the bully sense that you are avoiding them, they will see this as fear and to them that translates into success. This will only lead to them bullying you more.
  1. Do not react to the bullying in a way that indicates that the bullying is bothering you. Simply just walk away without saying anything. Bullies gain a great deal of satisfaction and fullfilment when they sense that they are making someone feel bad or uncomfortable. The bully is looking to garner attention and when they sense that they are hurting you or causing you discomfort, they will continue to do so

This tactic has to be executed with some care because there are some bullies that simply get pleasure out of the action of tormenting. So, the indication that there actions are not really bothering you may not stop them from bullying you. Learn that when it comes to how to deal with bullies:

  • It is also very important to understand that you cannot reason with an irrational person. You would be wasting your breath. Simply walk away.
  1. One of the most common mistakes of children that are bullied is attempting to ease the impact by cracking jokes at their own expense to give the impression that there is nothing that the bully can do to hurt your feelings. This only reinforces their efforts of the bully to attack your self-esteem.
  1. One of the best things that any bullying victim can do is report all bullying occurrences to the proper authority figure. Whether it is your parents, teacher, principal, school counselor, or even law enforcement officials when the occasion warrants it. When you report the action to those in position of authority, the proper punitive actions can be taken. Sometimes when bullies are aware that you are willing to report incidents they will consider you to be more trouble than what it is worth.
  1. Helping others who are being bullied is always a good practice. This shows support to the one being bullied and it also sets the standard that bullying will not be accepted.

The best advice that can be passed on to any child being bullied is to involve an adult. Understand that you don’t have to face this alone. There is plenty of help out there to help you address the issue and cope with the results. Be open in your communication of your feelings and fears. Internalizing does not help in the long run.

Even more importantly, understand that you and your life are valuable and there are people who love you and are willing to stand with you. The fact that you are being bullied is not your fault, it the person bullying you has issues. Take advantage of the resources that are provided.

Spread the word on how to deal with bullies!

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