“My Mom Hates Me”: Your Mom Doesn’t Hate You; She Wants the Best for You
Bullying can be a very traumatic and difficult experience for any child. Waking up every day and going to school, knowing you are going to be picked on can do a lot of emotional harm. While physical abuse from other children can be hard to handle, the emotional ruin is even harder to understand. What your child is going through is both embarrassing and confusing to them. They may be having a hard time understanding why they are the one being picked on…is it something about the way they dress? Or the way they walk? Or the way they talk? These kinds of questions could be rolling through your child’s mind if they are being bullied. But even if you try understanding the kind of emotional struggle they are going through, the hardest part is trying to figure out what is best for your child. You want to approach the situation with the best intent, but you also respect the fact that they may be tremendously embarrassed.
Bullying can cause a wedge between mother and child if the child is being bullied. The emotional tug of war can do great damage to any relationship, especially if you, as the mother, try to intervene. From a child’s perspective, it can be quite confusing and stressful having to deal with that kind of emotional pain every day. Parents find it hard to cope with and children begin to feel like they are cornered because their parents are asking them personal questions about what they are going through at school. This kind of communication may lead the child to isolate themselves; it may also lead to strain between child and mother.
“I hate my mother” is a common sign that the child may be going through severe emotional pain, which may cause other problems down the road. If the child is distancing themselves from the outside world, they may be too afraid to step beyond their comfort zone. Such dramatic behavior may cause depression in a parent. Your child watching you behave in such a way may lead you to believe that she dislikes you or that she is constantly thinking “I hate being a mom.” That kind of thinking is ludicrous and should never be considered. Your child is impressionable and may not understand why you are behaving the way you are behaving. Of course you want to do everything you can to protect your child; however, it can sometimes hurt your child more, rather than help them.
How to talk to a Child about Bullying
You should always approach your child with a good understanding of the situation. Make sure you do your best to come off in a comfortable way, a way that does not seem like you are at all angry or frustrated with them. This kind of misunderstanding could lead to even further emotional struggle for the child. “Does my mom hate me?” Constantly remind your child that you love them and support them. Trying teaching them that them being bullied is not their fault, but it is in their control. Right now, your child likely has many confusing thoughts running through their mind, such as “I hate my mom so much.” Such a comment would suggest that they are angry towards you because maybe you are not showing your support in a clear enough way. It is important to remind your child that you do not hate them, but you love them. You want what is best for them. Giving your child the loving and understanding they need is sometimes enough to boost their self-esteem. “I hate mom” is a reaction common with stress. Remember: your child is going through an emotional tug of war at school and is likely going through something you may not fully understand. It is best to try to communicate with your child as best as possible. You want to try your very best to get them to trust you. If your child is being bullied, then they may be having a hard time trusting anyone.
How to React to Your Child Being Bullied
It may be extremely difficult watching your child go through such personal turmoil. But how do you intervene? What do you say to them to show them that you have their back? Try to instill confidence in them, and remind them that you have their back. If you react in a way that causes you to become very upset over the situation, you may get a negative reaction from your child. If your child witnesses you having an emotional break down over them being bullied, it may cause your child to become more distanced. They may think you are saying to yourself “I hate being a stay at home mom.” Do not give your child any reason to think such a bad thought. Never give off the vibe that makes your child think “my mom hates me.” The moment your child thinks that you are thinking “my mom hates me,” your child will only being more withdrawn. Try to talk to your child. Communication is essential if you are going to boost their self confidence and help them face their bullies. Although bullying can be traumatic to a child, it does not have to knock them down completely.
What to do for Your Child
As it said in the section previous, approach the situation carefully and show your child that you care. Even if your child is distancing himself from you, he needs your love and support. If your child is feeling insecure around you as well, try to come down to his level and see it from his perspective. Even if the child expresses themselves in a negative way, such as “I hate you mom,” never take it seriously, only understand the emotional turmoil they are going through. It is important to be their friend and parent at the same time. Show them that you are there to listen, but also show them that you support them to the fullest, and never give off a negative emotional vibe, such as “I hate being a single mom.” If your child understands that you support them, then they will no longer be thinking “I think my mom hates me” or “I hate mom.” These kinds of feelings may only be a result of the bullying, but never take it to heart. The most important point is that you should be there for your child because neglecting to help your child could lead them to isolate themselves, and they may be thinking that “my mom hates me.”