Children are difficult, there is no way to deny that. They can be delightful at times, and they can be truly infuriating. The key is knowing what type of discipline is appropriate and what type of discipline really works. Through the ages, spanking children has been the age old way to get a child to do what you want. Though this can be seen as brutal, it can also be effective to a certain extent. Though many people denounce spanking children as brutish, non effective, and harsh, there are still some out there that approve of it and believe that it does just what it needs to. It is helpful to know all about it before you make a snap judgment. Seriously, is spanking child abuse?
Is Spanking Child Abuse: What Is Spanking?
The first step is to truly understand what spanking is. This does not mean using anything other than your hand, but rather, using your hand to spank your child. Though some people consider the use of a switch or paddle as spanking, traditionally, spanking used only the hand to administer discipline. For starters, someone that is working to use spanking as a means of disciplining their child will use their hand to cause minimal pain to that the child will associated pain with the action that is undesirable. This is effective in some ways if the parent knows how to spank a child without being too forceful and without causing pain and permanent damage.
Spanking children is not something that you should do on an every day basis and though some people claim spanking every day builds character, it can often cause more issue than good. For the most part, a child that is quick to learn will stop doing the action and will work to do whatever they can to not get spanked again. This means that you can often spank a child once or twice and they will not get spanked again. In other cases however, there are some very willful children that will do whatever they want no matter the consequences. In this type of case, spanking really does nothing to make these children behave.
There are two schools of thought in this regard. For some, any type of spanking is abuse, even if it is something as simple as a smack on the leg when the child misbehaves. Then there are those that feel that spanking is a necessary evil in raising a child that does what they are told. For those that believe that spanking children is wrong all together, there are often different methods and discipline techniques that they employ. This type of parent will often do things like time out, taking away privileges or toys, or even grounding rather than using corporal or physical punishment to discourage a behavior.
Though this type of parent is often very vocal about their beliefs, there have been no real studies done to prove that either method is best. It really does come down to the child. In most cases, those that are not a fan of spanking, there are other methods that keep the child from doing what they are not supposed to do. For those that do not use physical punishment as consequences for kids, it is often necessary to make sure that your child knows what to and what not to do in order for them to stay safe. This may not be a real issue when it comes to the child and the way that they behave.
For those that agree that spanking children is necessary there is a method to spanking kids. Children are willful, that is the way that they are no matter what. It may seem like they are going to do everything you want them to one moment and then they may turn around and go against what you say which makes spanking a spur of the moment type of punishment. There is no clear cut book or paper that tells you how to punish a child, you have to know your child and know how they respond to certain behaviors.
How to Make Kids Listen
One of the main reasons that children get spanked is that they do not listen. This makes parents very irritable and does often lead to spur of the moment punishment like spanking. Though it may seem like spanking is the best way to get their attention, there are other methods that do not require you to touch your child in any way. For starters, you should take the time to really think about your child.
Are they one that listens best when you speak softly, when you offer praise, or when you offer reward. Are they a child that does not listen unless they want to, how often do they do what they want even when you tell them not to? Any discipline needs to be based on the actual child rather than the methods that are touted as tried and true. Something that works wonders for one family may do absolutely nothing for another which means that you should take the time to really think about your child and about how they respond to different methods of punishment. There are tons of people that automatically assume that spanking child abuse is the thing that everyone employs when they have run out of ideas.
In most cases, by the time your child is a year old you have been through just about every issue you could contend with and you are likely to have seen every instance that you could ever learn to handle. That being said, you have likely seen your child do something that needed discipline. You can often learn how to properly discipline your child by watching how they respond to the different punishments that you actually go with. One sure fire way to make your child listen is to take the time to show them the respect that you want and listen to them.
Many children just want to be heard and taking the time to listen to them is one way to make sure that they listen to you. Though they are children, they too deserve the respect that you are requesting from them. Listening to your child is one way to teach good listening habits and good respect habits which makes for a child that is much easier to deal with.
How to Punish a Child
The main thing that most parents need to learn is how to punish their children effectively. That being said, there are different punishments that work best with different children. One way to think about it is in age groups. With smaller children, from about age 1-3, something like a light smack on the leg is going to work well because it is an immediate punishment to the unwanted behavior. Because this group of children cannot talk, you cannot reason with them and explain why they should not do something. Time out does not work well with this group either because they do not understand that they have to stay put.
With children from about age 4-7, time out works well. This works best with this age group because you are essentially able to tell them why they are being punished and what they are being punished for. This is also a great way to punish a child of this age because you are able to teach them values. For children from age 8-12, taking away privileges works well. This works with this age group because they are just starting to have real interests and they are going to have things that they like to do when they are home. There are plenty of punishments for kids and spanking your child and spanking discipline may be the only solution for some.
With children that are age 13-18 grounding is always the best choice. This is the teenage years where parents start to be lame and they want to spend time with friends and want to do after school activities. Taking away their freedom is the worst thing you can do by their standards and the best thing you can do to make them behave quickly and listen to what you are saying. As mentioned before, a child that has been shown respect at a young age is going to be far more likely to be respectful to parents. Thing like counting to ten and saying no over and over again with no real action is not effective. It is not impossible to teach your child without having to use much discipline, you just have to know how to work.