In A Better You, workplace

I Hate My Boss So Much

I Hate My Boss…. Dealing With The Horrible Boss

Nearly everyone has made this comment to themselves or to another person at least once in their lifetime. It is simply a fact of life that a job is going to come with a boss and that boss is going at some point to make demands upon you that make you angry. This is the way of life and it will not change anytime soon.

There are many aspects to life that will make you angry and the majority of those cannot be avoided. The true question is what you can do to change the situation and what situations you can simply not change no matter what you do. There are a variety of things that can make the workplace attitudes change and there are simply some people and some companies that will never be pleasing to you.

The Foundation

Everything has a base that it is built upon and the base of boss/employee relations is the workplace. There are some jobs and some workplaces that make every employee, including the boss, hate being there. The job is stressful or the workplace is hard to manage. It is a situation like this that can strain the relations between bosses and employees.

Also, there is the base relationship that needs to be questioned. In order to derive whether it is the interpersonal relations or the workplace or even the boss themselves is to question whether you are the only one that says “I hate my boss.” Does everyone hate the boss or is it just you? Does the boss seem to treat everyone in the same manner as you and if not, why not?

It is not a great thing to ponder, but many times a poor boss relationship begins with the job. It may be that somewhere along the line things got skewed. Perhaps one week things just went south and they have been there ever since. It is possible that a poor week of performance has changed the way that the boss looks at you and the way that the boss interacts with you. If you find that the boss is loved by the rest of the company and that the boss treats everyone else better than you, then it is time to question that situation.

Communication

Yes, communication is the most important tool anyone can use and the least used of all the tools. Marriages, companies and even governments can dissolve overnight because someone chooses to assume, rather than ask. If the boss appears to not like you, then ask them why. If they seem to give others different privileges, then ask them why. No matter what, talk to the boss before jumping to conclusions about why things are the way they are.

It is very common that this simple question will open a dialog that can solve issues easily. There may be a misunderstanding or perhaps some past transgression can be fixed in one simple conversation. We recently spoke with a man that was perpetually late by two to three minutes. He had to drop his kids off at school and it is simply the way that the schedule worked out, there was nothing he could do.

He assumed that it was ok, since it was just a couple of minutes, but the fact that it was everyday grated on the boss to no end. The boss had no clue as to why the employee could not make it to work on time and did not have the time to discuss it with him and the employee had no idea that the tardiness was a big issue. After one conversation, initiated by the employee, the entire problem was resolved. The boss now knew why the employee was tardy and began to look at the employee in a new light. The employee did a great job in all other areas and was actually promoted a few months later to a better position with a different schedule.

The fact is simple. If you never tell a person what you want, you cannot be angry for not getting it. To assume that everyone else has the same knowledge, the same goals and the same priorities as you is to set up for failure. It is granted that some others will assume information about you, but the fact is that you only have control over one person in life and it is you.

Ask questions of others and tell them what you expect and things will improve in all areas of your life. This is true of any relationship. Also, when you have an issue, confront it right away, issues that linger over time will only get worse.

Next Steps

So, you have talked to others and you have talked to the boss and you still say “I hate my boss.” Let us take just a quick moment to mention that there are places you can contact if you believe there is actual discrimination occurring. It is rare in this day and age, but does happen from time to time. If you believe that your sex, your race or any other protected aspect is being used to determine how someone treats you at work, follow the proper procedures and find out what can be done.

With that being said, if there is still a problem, then there are one of two situations. Either your boss simply does not like you or they are a jerk to everyone. This also includes workplaces that no one likes. There are a few very different ways to go from this point forward. Each includes you changing something. If communication did not solve anything and it appears that the boss will continue to be the same way until the end of time, then you must change you.

In the end, you can change jobs, positions, or you can change the way that you perceive the world around you. Consider whether there are other positions in the same company and whether it is feasible to change. There may be the exact same job in another department and under another boss. Check around and ask the HR department.

If you are in a job that requires a college degree or a certification, or you have a specific skill set that is needed, then you may be able to quickly and easily find another job. There may be a shortage in your job area also. No matter what, do not quit a job before getting a new one. This is also the extreme reaction, but some people do find themselves in a situation at work they cannot live with any longer.

Changing Yourself

This is the simplest and yet the hardest of all the methods for dealing with a boss or any other person that you find is not treating you the way that you want to be treated. That sentence right there is the foundation for a new tomorrow. Sometimes it is all about the way that you word something. Rather than say that someone is treating you “poorly,” say that they are treating you differently than you expect to be treated.

It is our expectation of a person or situation that can determine how we perceive it. If we go into a place expecting the worst, then it is bound to be better than we expect. If we expect a person to treat us at a very high level, then we are bound to be disappointed. We can only control ourselves, our actions and how we look at a situation or person. We cannot control the other person and we cannot control a situation.

If we look back into our past, we will find negative situations that we never thought would change. We were in situations that seemed horrible at the time, but looking back it all worked out in the end. Nothing will last forever.

We give others power over us and we extend to them greater power when we linger on their treatment of us. We spoke with a woman recently that only saw her boss for about six minutes in the morning, but her entire day was ruined by those six minutes. She was allowing that boss to rent space in her head for the entire day, when it could have been over by the time she got to her desk.

Deal with the negative boss or negative person and move on. Do not linger on the past, even if it was only five minutes ago. Take everything with a grain of salt and forget about the negative parts. Be pleasant whether they are pleasant to you or not and once the moment is gone, let it stay gone.

Do not take the negative parts of your work home. It is bad enough to deal with a bad boss, it is even worse to let them ruin your off hours as well. Ask your friends and family to change the subject when you bring up the boss and try to keep things pleasant. Make a joke of the bad treatment and even turn it into a daily thing. When you get home and the family asks how the boss was today, shout in a deeply sarcastic tone, “It was an awesome day!” and move on to spending time you’re the people you care about.

Always go back to the fact that no one can control how you feel inside. Just be you, do the best job you can and remember that it is just life and we are here to experience the good and the bad.

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