Any successful relationship requires two people who are both trusting and trustworthy of each other. Trust is the foundation of any parent child relationship. In the world we live in today, parents have difficulties finding a happy medium between being their child’s best friend or worst enemy. The common miscommunication is that the role of a parent is much different than one of a best buddy or arch nemesis. Without the full involvement of both the parent and the child, it will be hard to maintain a functioning, let alone happy and healthy relationship. You need to learn how to convince your parents to trust you.
Two Way Street
First thing’s first; trust is a two way street. Sure, it is important as children and young adults to understand how to convince your parents to trust you, but your parents should be trustworthy, as well.
- Be Open and Honest– Both parents and children should be able to be honest with each other. It is okay to argue, and it is even more acceptable to disagree completely, but being honest is the only way to expect honesty in return.
- Communication – Simple greetings are not enough to maintain a trusting relationship. Parents, let your children know what you expect from them, and children, let your parents know what you expect from them. Even parents have authority; communication is an equal entity that both parties are responsible for.
- Rule of Thumb– The basic rule if there is something that you do not feel comfortable telling your parent, then as a child, you should not have done it, or continue to do it, and the same goes for parents.
Honesty is the Best Policy
Communication and honesty cannot be stressed enough, and that is mainly because that is what trust is.
- Ask and Receive Method– Teens, if you often wonder how to get your parents to say yes, there is only one way to do it; be honest about what it is that you want. Of course, be prepared to answer any questions they have. Even if they deny your request, it is better than being caught in a lie. Once trust is broken, it is hard to repair. One no, and one thousand yeses is a lot better than never hearing the word yes until you are a legal adult.
- Calling All Parents– It is every parents’ right to guide their children with a yes or no response; however, in order to maintain a trusting relationship with your child, providing them a detailed answer instead of just yes or no can have better results than just a simple response. If you say no to a request from your child, tell them why, or they may rebel out of curiosity or as a result of unfairness.
Parents Just Don’t Understand
As it goes, there is that unavoidable saying that parents just don’t understand. While that may be true, most of the time parents do understand because they too were once children at a point and time.
- Friend groups– Parents tend to believe that their child’s friend group is a reflection of them, while children tend to say to themselves, “my parents are crazy.” Parents, friends are not always a direct reflection of your child, but they are as much of an influence as you are. Lee way in letting them choose their own friends is a way of embracing trust. On the flip side, kids need to understand that if your parents do not particularly like your friends, it is for a reason. You either have to prove them wrong by figuring out how to persuade your parents into trusting you any way, or find a different friend group.
- Interests– every individual child is different; every child will form and develop different hobbies, just because. Parents, just because you were the star athlete and your child loves art, does not mean they are rebelling against you. Children should share their hobbies with their parents, and parents should show their interest in those hobbies in order to maintain trust in their daily activities.
- Common hormonal changes– all parents understand the hormonal changes that their children are going through because it is just science, and all humans go through it in their adolescent stages. The issue is that most parents avoid awkward topics like the “sex talk”. However, Approximately 750,000 American teens get pregnant every single year resulting in approximately 400,000 teen births. So, parents talk to your kids, no matter how uncomfortable it is. Teens and young adults, if you have concerns that your parents have not discussed with you, do not be afraid to ask. It is your right to know, and they will most likely have the answer.
- Bullying- 28 percent of children between the ages of 12-18 report being bullied at school, and worldwide, 160,000 students refuse the idea of school because they are being bullied. So kids, the question is not how to convince your parents to let you stay home from school, but how to convince your parents that you need help and assistance. Parents, if you do not understand the aspects of bullying, it is something to invest your time in to help connect with your child.
It Starts With a Happy Home (parents)
- Teacher– the “do as I say and not as I do” can no longer exist in a trusting relationship between a child and a parent. Any child, whether they like to admit it, looks up to their parents. Teach your children by acting the right way, because children are sponges from the moment they learn to walk, talk, and develop a personality.
- Respect-The first rule; children obey your parents. At times, they may seem unfair, but they do know best. If you want to earn their trust, respect them, and it will give them an impression of you that can have a lasting impact on your relationship. Parents, at a certain point, respecting your children is necessary if you want to stay in their web. Respect their privacy, and they will come to you with their problems more naturally.
- Family Life– there is many things that parents fear their children may end up doing. For instance, drinking alcohol and substance abuse are two things every parent dreads. However, having a safe and healthy home environment for your children can eliminate that distress. The top two reasons why teens expose themselves to alcohol and/or drugs are: Parents abusing substances, and an escape from their unhappy home life. Teens should not follow in their parents’ unhealthy footsteps just because, but it is more along of the lines of the parents providing a stable home for a child to grow and develop in.
- Support system– It is important for children to know they have a support system at all times. Teen suicide is the third leading cause of death for young people, surpassed only by homicide and accidents . Suicide is often caused by isolation or rejection. The LGBT community is at an even higher risk at committing or attempting suicide, so it is beyond crucial that you never turn your back on your kids. As for teens and young adults, it does not hurt to be open about your curiosity or sexuality, because it will ultimately build a trust in your parents.
For parents, raising a child is not always easy. Being a child, and becoming a young adult is equally challenging. Most of the time, these two difficulties clash and it forms a strain in a parent child relationship. Trust is the most important part, but it is from trust that many more factors stem, and need to be recognized. Be in tune with your parents if you want to earn their trust.