Thousands of teens wake up every day afraid to go to school or leave the house. This is a result of the harassment and bullying kids are experiencing at school and within their community. The feeling of fear may be reduced in most teens who are being bullied if they had someone who knew how to console someone who is being bullied.
In addition to fear, bullying can create feelings of dread and isolation. All of these feelings can have serious emotional effects on victim, which could result in the victim self-inflicting harm upon themselves and/or retaliating against the bully. This is why it is so important to show support and have an understanding of what the victim is going through to help ease their pain and prevent any future actions of emotional distress and/or violence.
Why offer consoling
Imagine this…a young girl is a little bit overweight according to society’s standards of what is ideal. Because she is different from others in the classroom, kids start to pick on her. Over time, as the other kids see they are getting a reaction, continue to harass and bully the young girl only because they see they can get away with it.
Without support and a few consoling words, this young girl may feel like she is alone in this world. This is one of the worst feelings a young child can have and could leave to isolation and other of the many effects bullying has on children. This is why it is so important to understand how to console someone who is being bullied. Being able to do so will offer support and comfort to those who feel like they are alone.
Definition of consolation
In order to be able to offer support and to be able to properly console someone, you must first be able to define consolation. Knowing all of the aspects and meaning behind the word will help you offer proper words of encouragement and support someone needs after being bullied.
The definition of console is being able to alleviate the grief, sorrow or disappointment someone feels. In other words the general console definition means offering solace or comfort to someone experience heartache or pain. Both things a victim of bullying needs to feel loved and feel like there is a way out of the situation they are currently in.
There are so many things you can do to show support and help console a child who is being bullied. Let’s take a look at the top things suggested by the Eunice Kennedy Shriver National Institute of Child Health and Human Development to do when a child is being bullied:
- Listen to the child
- Offer suggestions to get the bullies to stop
- Offer to go with and get help
- Follow up with the child regularly to see how things are going
- Spend time with the child
On the other hand, there are some things that can be done to help reduce the chances a parent raises the bully. If you see a child bullying another, here are some of the top tips on how to address this heinous behavior:
- Make sure the child knows this behavior is unacceptable
- Explain the consequences of being a bully
- Continue to be a good role model
- Spend time having fun with the child
According to Nemours, supporting those you see being bullied is another way to console and help those who have fallen victim to school yard bullies. Stand up for the victim by telling the bullies that the way they are treating the victim is wrong and their actions are not funny. Just remember to remain calm and show your support.
If things continue to escalate, offer to go with the victim and seek help. Help can include telling an adult or seeking counseling. Knowing you will be there by his or her side will make the victim no longer feel like they are alone. This might make it easier for the victim to get the held needed to handle the situation.
In most cases, having someone to talk to can help alleviate the pain and suffering associated with being bullied. Nemours suggest showing support through being a good listener and sharing concern over your friend’s fears and frustrations from being bullied. This offers an outlet for the victim to get all of their feelings out in the open, rather than bottle all of those emotions up inside.
Spend time together
In order truly be there for your friend, make time to spend with each other. Offer to walk home with the victim, which will not only show you are there for him or her, but also protects them from being bullied on the way home from school. If the bullying continues offer a new route home from school, preferably one where there are plenty of other people in the area.
Make plans to do something the victim enjoys. Something that will take his or her mind off of their situation with a bully. Doing so will show your friend that there is more to life than putting up with a bully and feeling alone.
As parents we not only have to fear that our children are being bullied in school, but also have to worry about the fact that it might be our children doing the bullying. There are things we can do while raising kids to help reduce the chances that they will turn into a bully. Here are some tips offered by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services:
- Lead by example
- Do not bully others
- Do not talk bad or negatively about others
- Do not make fun of others
- Explain why bullying is wrong
- Teach child how to console someone who is being bullied
- Show compassion for those being bullied
- Be an active part of the child’s life
- Set time limits for technology use
- Set and enforce consistent rules of behavior
If you feel you have consoled your friend as much as you believe humanly possible, it might be necessary to seek additional help. If your friend does not want the help of others, but you feel you cannot do this on your own, make time to speak with an adult about the situation. The third party might be able to offer tips and other suggestions to help your friend through their troubled times.
If you do not have permission from your friend, it is important to keep their identity private until he or she is ready to seek help. If you seek additional help from an outside source, make sure not to reveal who the victim is, unless you have permission from your friend to do so.
HelpGuide.org also suggests those who know someone who is being bullied to call a help line for additional help. These help lines can help with preventing suicide or finding additional help and emotional support for the victim. Online resources are also available to those who would prefer the anonymity of the Internet.
All-in-all, the best way to show children support when they are being bullied and how not to become a bully themselves is to show them you are concerned and interested in their lives. Show support and express how proud you are of the child. Both of these will help reduce the feelings of being alone, isolated and might discourage a child from becoming a bully.