Helping the victim of bullying with the aid of the victim’s family
To see how the family members deal with and feel about one another, the person who’s tasked for helping the victim of bullying may want to use mapping tools like life space diagrams. Life space diagrams are representations of the emotional connectivity of the family members. Every detail considered in the map such as the size and distance of what has been drawn speaks of the influence one family member has on another and the bond that ties them. Thus, the victim, the family and the person who’s greatly concerned over the victim’s well- being would concretely see what is happening in the family and how they treat one another. These maps will help the person determine the family’s strengths. And these strengths can be the person’s basis for his choice of action plans for the victim’s welfare.
Once the victim’s family type is determined, the helper’s second role would be, as mentioned, to develop a plan of action to solve the present concerns. Such present concerns are of course the bullying experienced by the victim and the moving on phase. It would be good to have a solution focused attitude towards involving the whole family in helping the victim deal with his predicaments. The solution focused attitude centers on what is going on well with the victim and his family. Whatever good thing that is present in the victim and his family is then utilized as a step towards mending. If for instance the victim’s family has power struggles yet the members make it a point that no one from the outside would inflict harm on them, then this latter family practice can be emphasized to show to the victim that his family is assertive hence he can be assertive too as long as he wants to and learns how to do it.
The person who wants to help the victim may also consider briefing the family what bullying is all about and the facts surrounding such issue. When the family is given knowledge about bullying, they will be able to refrain from having thoughts that maintain bullying such as “getting in the middle of bullying incidents will only add fuel to the fire” and thoughts that maintain victimization like “victims would need to stand up for themselves” to build up character. Briefing the family about the bullying incidents will also make them prepared to handle the depth of the pain the victim may reveal once he is asked to let things out in the open. Aside from this, the family will learn as well how to tell when the victim’s pains have gone deeper than they used to be and thus the need to seek immediate help from other professionals.
An additional role for the individual aiming to facilitate the victim’s healing is teaching the victim to recognize which of his own behaviors are likely to elicit bullying from other people. Bullies do not just pick on people randomly. In actuality, there is almost always something about the victim that makes him attractive enough to bully. Of course, the bully may pick the wrong person at times but that doesn’t stop him from finding the perfect target to intimidate and harass. If the victim is aware of his behaviors and which of his behaviors are prone to be bullied he can change these behaviors and engage instead those that facilitate changes. At the same time, the family members can be taught to recognize such behavior as well so they can remind the victim that his behaviors are going down the direction of attracting the bullies again. In such manner, the re-occurrence of bullying can be avoided and prevented once and for all.
Clearly, from what has been said, determining the family type and the members’ relational dynamics with one another can help the victim of bullying progress in his path to recovery. The family members’ presence can even be already a stepping stone to moving ahead from the emotional and mental bruises the victim has received from those who have bullied him. Given these then, it is just reasonable that each healing mechanism that’s taken on for the victim’s welfare will work out better when the victim’s family is involved.