Got a bullied child?
Bullying is a serious problem that plagues schools and many other areas of life. While some people see it as a right of passage for all children to go through, there are many others who feel bullying is something that children shouldn’t have to be worried about. Many parents often wonder, should you spoil a child if they are being bullied? They feel badly that their child has gone through this form of emotional turmoil and sometimes even physical pain. They may think that spoiling their child is the right way to handle it to make sure their child feels as if he is truly loved. However, this isn’t typically the best way to help a child heal from the turmoil.
Got a Bullied Child? Identifying Bullying Problems
Many children are not willing to go to a trusted adult or a parent when they have become the victim of bullying behavior. They feel as if they need to battle through it alone or simply endure the emotional and physical turmoil it causes. However, there are often warning signs parents can look for to indicate whether their child is being bullied:
- Doing poorly in school, especially when it happens suddenly
- Difficulty sleeping
- Doesn’t want to go to school
- Begins bullying siblings or lashing out at home
- Unexplained physical wounds
- Unaccounted for money, toys or other items
- Poor moods
- Isolating himself at home
- Low self-esteem
- New fears, especially of riding the bus
When parents see any of these signs or other unusual changes in the way their child behaves, it is important to start a conversation to find out if your child is being bullied. While it can be difficult to get your child to open up to you, the effort is worth it in the end.
Got a Bullied Child? Keep the Lines of Communication Open
Your child doesn’t need to be spoiled by you to know that you will always be there to listen to him when he needs you the most. As a parent, it can be difficult to be there for your child in the way you want to be. Many children go through a stage where they just don’t want to talk to their parents about anything, especially something important. No matter how difficult it is, though, it is important to make sure your child knows he can always talk to you when something is bothering him. If you play your cards right, your child will come to you to discuss his problems when he is bullied.
Got a Bullied Child? Invite Friends Over
Most children have friends with whom they enjoy spending time. Even if they are bullied on a regular basis, there are often at least a couple children with whom your child gets along. When your child is being bullied, though, they often distance themselves from all other children because they are afraid any of these children may turn on them at any moment. You can help foster positive relationships between your child and other children by inviting some of these friends to your home to play or out to a fun activity with your family. Some people may consider this spoiling your child, but as long as it isn’t something you do for your child every day, it becomes a treat and something that will help boost your child’s self-esteem.
Got a Bullied Child? Train Your Child to Handle Bullies
Most children simply don’t know how to handle themselves when they become the victim of bullying behavior. Therefore, it is up to you to give your child the tools he needs to handle bullies and make himself less likely to become a victim of this abusive behavior. Children need to learn to stand up for themselves, walk away when things become too heated and to report the instance to a trusted adult. When you emphasize to your child that going to an adult is not a negative thing, you will encourage him to take the appropriate action. This includes online and offline bullying.
Got a Bullied Child? Seek Professional Help
Children who are bullied at school and in other situations are more susceptible to depression and other similar ailments. This often leads parents to spoil their child in an attempt to draw him out of the depression. If you are wondering, should you spoil a child if they are being bullied, many professionals will tell you a big ‘NO.” Send your child to a psychologist, particularly one who specializes in children and bullying. For some children, seeing a professional is something they will fight against. However, if you really want to help your child get through the bullying and heal properly, it is often best to talk to someone who can guide them through all the processes they are going through so they can come out of treatment stronger than ever. This provides a solid foundation for the future.
Got a Bullied Child? Always Listen
If you simply talk to your child about bullying and ignore what he is trying to tell you, you are going to cause rifts in your communication. When your child approaches you with a problem, you need to listen to what your child has to say. It may be difficult to hear some of the things your child has to say, but all your child wants is someone who is willing to listen to how they feel and what they are going through. If your child is ready to ask for your advice, you can offer him information what he should do if he finds himself in a similar situation in the future.
Got a Bullied Child? Validate Your Child’s Feelings
Children often have difficulty determining if what they are feeling is right or not. While there is no right or wrong when it comes to how you feel, sometimes you just want someone to tell you that your feelings aren’t the wrong thing. Children feel the same way. Bullying can make children feel unhappy, unsure of themselves or angry. When your child comes to you and tells you how he is feeling, let him know you understand how he feels and ask him what he thinks he can do to help those feelings go away. You may even want to share some stories from your own childhood. If you share something that happened to you and how it made you feel, your child will see that he is not alone and that you actually know exactly what he is going through.
Got a Bullied Child? Treat Your Child to Something Special
It isn’t spoiling your child if you treat him to something special after he has been through a particularly difficult situation with a bully. While it is important not to make a habit out of providing something special every time your child becomes a victim, it doesn’t hurt to offer him the option of an ice cream cone or going to a favorite park to help him get through a difficult time. Make sure your child knows this is not something he should expect every time he has a rough day and he will understand you are doing something nice for him.
Got a Bullied Child? Encourage Your Child
Many children who are bullied will close themselves off from the rest of the world, not talking about their problems and staying away from their friends and family members who care about them. If you notice this type of behavior in your child, encourage him to talk it out with you and to spend time with the family. Making sure your child knows he is loved and appreciated will help him overcome his feelings that are caused by the bullying behavior. This type of encouragement will provide your child with the self-esteem boost he needs to get through the rest of his school years and on into his life in the workplace.
Got a Bullied Child? Address the Behaviour Properly
One of the reasons why children feel they can’t go to their parents for help when they are bullied is because they don’t think it will help. Bullies sometimes threaten children with worse behaviour if they tell an adult what is going on. This can stop a child from reporting the behaviour through the proper channels. If you are able to get your child to come to you, make sure he knows exactly how to address the situation himself if it ever happens again. You should also offer to go with your child if he wants to go to a teacher or principal with the issue immediately. If your child isn’t ready to speak to an adult about what is going on so it can be addressed, make sure he knows how to handle it when he is ready to move forward.
Got a Bullied Child? So Should You Spoil Your Child?
It seems that many children today have been spoiled, even if they aren’t the victim of bullying. However, many parents whose children have been bullied at some point feel a need to coddle their children and provide them with special privileges as a way to make sure they feel good about themselves to make up for the damaging effects of bullying. Unfortunately, when you take steps to truly spoil your child to fight against the negative issues that bullying typically bring on in a child, it is going to have an overall negative impact on your child for the rest of his life. Children who are spoiled for any reason have a tendency to become entitled as they grow up. This can lead to issues in interacting with other people and getting through life in general.