The definition of a friend can be elusive. It is by no means easy to describe, and the definition can very from person to person and relationship to relationship. Moreover, as time passes, the definition of a friend for one person can change. Experiences also tend to change how one defines a friend. Generally a past bad experience with a friend, can in turn, make a person more carefully choose who they label as friends in the future. On the other hand, good experiences with friends will let a person broaden their definition. A friend definition is not subject to normal rules concerning word definitions.
Friends and the creation of such amiable relationships generally don’t occur by any sort of plan or preconceived notion. The beginning of a relationship can start in any of a multitude of mediums such as: social clubs, public transportation, walking down the street, church, etc. When two people cross paths and make an initial connection it generally comes from a common interest, in which the venue or medium in the context of the meeting, makes the commonality obvious. If too people meet on a recreational soccer club, their being at the club makes the commonality subject of easy conversation. This connection then leads to further discussion which can lead the relationship down a road that is more meaningful and though-provoking.
It has been a long standing consensus that a friendship and relationships are like plants, in that one must water each regularly for them to grow and for them to be sustained. This could not be more true. If friendship is defined as being there for someone, then a person must have the selflessness to give time to a friend when they are in need. If these basic ‘watering techniques’ are ignored then the friendship will perish, before either party realizes what they lost. In some cases it can be understandable if life gets in the way and one person is unable to make such time commitments to their friends. This can certainly be more understandable in the career years of our lives, as people will be tied up with jobs and family, before they have any residual time remaining for friends. In these circumstances, if one is involved with such a friend, it should be known that it is okay for one to forgive and understand what the other person is going through in their personal life as far as time constraints goes with family and their job. A friend definition allows this. In fact it is in this understanding that one can show that they are being a friend and they are being understanding for the other person. This sacrifice of time from one party to another, which may not always be able to take place is what makes friendships last, but also understanding when the sacrifice can’t occur as planned can not only sustain the friendship or relationship but strengthen it in the long run.
Generally when people talk about capital, it refers to money, but it can also relate to people and friends. If two people have been friends for a long time, then the rules of such a relationship, and the friend definition, will generally be a lot different from the rules of a new relationship. It is very important to understand this concept, since one should always be careful not to ask for too much from a new friend, as their may not be enough friendship capital built up for the other party to oblige to such requests. Accruing capital in a friendship takes time.
Depending on the frequency of contact, building capital in a friend will be a lot different relationship to relationship. It should be understood that such capital building takes effort from both parties, insofar, a trustworthy bond is formed. When such time requirements have been met, then the level of favors that friends can do for each other will grow. Like a financial investment, if a friend fails to come through on a promise or requested task as a friendship is being built, then the capital will stop building in that relationship, and can even recede. When one lies to a friend, it takes a lot of future effort and fortitude for that friendship capital to be regained to what it was before a lie. In many cases the capital in the friend continues to recede and the friendship eventually dies out altogether. Such instances can be paralyzing for some people when they are the victim of friendships that they may not have judge correctly, or had over invested in the other person to soon in the capital accruement process. This will position them to update their friend definition. When they learn that had over invested in a friend too early on in a relationship, then the way that person will treat future relationships will generally be a lot different than their past.
Good friends are hard to find, in regards to any friend definition. It may even take years to find such people that have been good investments in friendship capital, for one to label them as good friends. This is very normal, and most people with lots of friends, generally only have one or two good friends that they will frequently contact. In an age where the term friend gets thrown around quite a bit it should be important to know that one person can only have so many good friends. This fact is carried on since people have both time constraints and knowledge constraints. The less contact one maintains with another, then the weaker that relationship or friendship will be. So in general, many friends, means many weak friends, and a few friends can mean a few strong, long-lasting relationships that are more worthy of time investments. Both instances occur in broad and stingy friend definitions of the word.
In the initial stages of finding and making friends, it can be hard to decide who is a worthy investment of your time in your friend search. It is important to recognize what makes a good friend and why it is important to hold onto the. For one friends are reliable. They tell you the truth and they respect you for things you do that other people may not see as special or respectful. When people are will to examine your actions and your ideas, before other people do then they can be a potential friend for the sole fact that they are willing to make a time investment in you, because of your unique behavior. Moreover, good potential candidates for friendships generally support your decision-making when a tough situation comes up. Whether or not the decision turns out to be right, if they initially support you, that can be a signal that this person sees a worthy investment in you. People like this do not come by very often in life, simply because of the aforementioned constraints that all people must abide to.
Another important trait of a good friend is honesty. If someone is honest and forthcoming with you, then that means they want you to know something first before it may hurt you in the long run. If you are constantly confronted with people that tell you what you want to hear, then those people are looking to help you in a meaningful way. Moreover, people like that will tell you things that you want to hear, simply so they can invest less time in thinking about your predicament, or so they can spend less time on dealing with an adverse reaction you may initially have on their honesty.
In most shallow friendships or relationships, positive preconceived notions about the other person may persist even when the other person has displayed such behavior that have dispelled these previous positive preconceived notions. In general, many people will find it hard to admit they were wrong about how they initially judged a person, insofar, they will continue to associate themselves with that person until such negative behavior is so obvious and harmful that the person who judged wrong finds it in their best interests to leave that friendship. It will always be easier for someone to blame the other party, or anyone but themselves for their life’s misgivings. This is certainly true in friendship choice as well. Being overly loyal to a poor friend, is generally the outcome of such poor judgement. It is okay to practice such overly loyal techniques early on in one’s life, but constant one sided relationships are not a healthy institution to be apart of. Generally friendships like this can hurt a participant in the long run because they don’t get to see their investment pay back to them. It is important that one recognizes they are constantly engaging in such friendships early on so they can quickly correct them. While the correction process may seem hard at first, again, it will pay off in the long run. Moreover, it will prevent the sour one-sided friendships that one may embark on in the future, which would lead to more serious and consequential results.
All in all, being a good friend and seeking out good friends just goes back to the basic concepts of time management and time allocation for certain people. While many people will rally behind a more well-off person simply for that reason, real friendships are so more complex than the possibility of monetary gain from being associated with a certain party. In fact making friends through monetary gain has its own negative backlashes. This is easily noticeable in which people leave and which people stay when the person may no longer be well-off or in a position of prestige. True friendship, as aforementioned, is a rather elusive concept that is never planned or preconceived and of which has a definition or ‘friend definition’ that changes constantly over time for all people. Friendships are never achievable nor sustainable if the parties involved do not constantly invest and re-invest some portion of their time to the other party.
The more time one invests, the more power and longevity the friendship can have if each party invests a comparable amount of time, and uses that time to abide by the aforementioned principles of what a good friend entails and means. Honesty, loyalty, support, and understanding are such principles as discussed that can characterize a solid core friend definition. Each of these principles requires substantial time investments for each party, and it is keeping these principles and timing requirements in balance between the two parties which makes a friendship last, and it also makes a friendship special for both participants. Only when the time requirements, principles or the balance of this culmination begins to deteriorate, does the friendship begin to see immense pressure from one side. When this occurs this is generally when a friendship sees the initial stages of its ending processes. It is important to recognize this, and be able to honestly communicate such fears with the other participant, since honesty should be a common principle practiced within the friendship. As simple as this may seem, friendships can be a challenge to keep and sustain, but they are especially special when one does.