In Teens

Forever Alone: Teens and Their Fear of Aloneness

forever alone

Teens have the ability to believe they will suffer a situation forever. This includes being alone, as well as loneliness. Hence the term “forever alone”, This happens to teenagers all around the world. There is a difference between the two – in the first, someone may choose to be alone as they figure out their lives. In the second, they don’t want to be alone and do experience feeling lonely. Feeling lonely means feeling isolated. The teen feels empty inside – as though nothing could ever fill that void inside their psyche, according to Psychologist Anywhere.

Why Teens Should Not Fear Loneliness 

Being alone, experiencing solitude and loneliness all seem to describe the same state, but they are all different. Having a few moments or hours of solitude is a gift that teens should treasure. It’s in these times that teens can spend some “alone time” with themselves, figuring out how they feel about different issues, situations and people. Having solitude means they have chosen to be alone for a time.

Being alone may be something they don’t want, especially if their friends are all pairing off with other girls and boys. They may believe they will be alone forever. If the teen is being bullied, they may sense that their friends are actively avoiding them or even falling away completely. These young people are the ones who are more likely to become lonely, because they need supportive people in their lives. As friends disappear, they begin to fear being alone. Anxiety, fear and depression follow. If someone shows any willingness to spend time with the teen, they begin to cling to that person, becoming emotionally needy.

Being Alone is Different from Being Lonely 

The teen’s parents, teachers or other people important to their lives can help them figure out what “being alone” means to them. This step is important for teens all around the world, whether they live in an Asian country, the U.K., somewhere in Europe or in the U.S. Humans all around the world experience love, togetherness and connecting with others in similar ways, although local custom may dictate how they do so.

As the teen begins to work out why they are afraid of being alone, either temporarily or for the long-term, they need to isolate the fear they feel. As they do this, they need to determine whether they are allowing fear of aloneness to control their interactions with others. To begin, they need to ask themselves,”will i be alone forever.”

If the teen encounters their bullies and supportive persons aren’t anywhere nearby, the teen may want to be alone, just so they aren’t anywhere near their bullies. This adds a negative social element to the teen’s current situation – they may fear more putdowns or even physical violence.

Loneliness Can Have Negative Effects 

Solitude can be positive and healing. On the other hand, loneliness, especially when it is ongoing, can have negative psychological and physical effects on the teen. These include:

º Panic attacks, especially if the teen is being bullied.

º Phobias about being alone forever.

º Drug and/or alcohol addiction.

º Depression, especially if the teen has a fear of being alone forever.

º Poor sleeping habits.

º Lowered ability to recover from illness or injury.

º Anxiety, especially when the teen needs or wants to be with others.

º Illness – acute or chronic, as the stress of loneliness affects the teen’s body.

º Suicide, especially if they fear that nobody will ever want to spend time with them.

Teens have the ability to “awfulize” everything, believing that i am forever alone. When it comes to romantic relationships, they are especially skilled at making a temporary situation looks worse.

Teaching Teens About Love and Togetherness 

Teens all around the world may worry that they may never meet someone special with whom they will spend their lives. Parents, especially mothers, can have a huge effect on how their children come to view their futures. Mothers can do much to share valuable lessons about love with their teens:

º A healthy relationship complements you. It doesn’t complete you, according to P&G Every Day.

º Learn to love yourself before you expect someone else to love you.

º Choose a life partner who respects you.

º Respect your dreams and goals. Don’t let the dream of love sidetrack you.

º Recognize the small gestures others make toward you.

º Don’t let one bad relationship affect how you feel about love and future relationships.

º Even healthy relationships go through upsets.

Teens who believe they will be forever alone can then begin to view future relationships in a more realistic manner. Over time, they may stop wondering, ” am I going to be alone forever.”

Steps Teens Can Take to Combat That Lonely Feeling 

Teens can still feel lonely, even when they have family and friends nearby. This may develop because they have been ruminating over their solo state. These girls and boys may wonder, “Am I going to be alone forever” as they think about their friends who have paired off.

When they experience these feelings, they can do a few things for themselves that may help them to feel a little better about their solo status:

º Call someone they love and share a conversation. This could be a friend or family member. Another friend may have the same concerns – they can talk about being forever alone together.

º Log off Facebook and other social media sites. Seeing relationship statuses and posts about how others are spending their time can make the teen feel worse as they ask themselves, “will i be alone forever.”.

º Volunteer. Communities all around the world badly need volunteers to help others.

º Have a good cry.

º Think of something for which they are grateful. Making this a daily practice can help them take their minds off how they are feeling.

º Create an account on Teens can express their interests and start meeting with others who share those interests.

º Read a good book.

º Create a blog.

º Exercise or dance.

º Hug their dog or cat.

º Go out on a date with yourself, suggests Akirah Robins.

All of these activities serve to help the teen to move beyond their feelings about being alone. Over time, some activities may become regular pursuits that take up some more of their time.

Loneliness for Teens in the UK and Europe 

In 2014, the British Office for National Statistics released information showing that Britain is the loneliest capital in all of Europe. Residents of the U.K. are less likely to have ongoing relationships with their neighbors or have strong relationships with others, according to an article in The Guardian. This extends to British teens – a 2010 survey carried out by the Mental Health Foundation revealed that, in younger people aged 18 to 34 years of age, worries about loneliness and depression were worse than in people who were older than 55.

The elderly have outlets to meet their social needs. They can visit charities or day centers, spending time with age mates. In contrast, when younger people are past the age of 20, they are no longer able to take advantage of services provided for British youths.

To address their aloneness, young British adults can ask themselves why they aren’t going out and seeking out other people. They can do so by teaming up with others at work, call helplines and join groups. If their feelings of loneliness are evolving into depression, counseling may be in order.

Forever Alone Quotes 

Having a few quotes handy can help those who feel like they have been alone for too long to cope:

º Shout out to the guys who play with girls, making them feel like nothing. May you end up forever alone, with no one to love.

º Roses are red, I have a phone, no one to text, I’m forever alone.

º That forever alone feeling happens when I am waiting for someone in a crowd.

As you read these quotes, you may be able to spot a theme, especially if you are coping with these feelings. First, you may see bitterness from a young woman who has been “played” by too many young men. Next, you spot a familiarity with the feeling of being alone – the quotes say that the persons who made them don’t like being alone. These quotes come from Search Quotes.

Teens, Conversation and Togetherness 

Teens need to learn how to cultivate the art of conversation so that, when they want to be with someone, they can find someone who wants to be with them. Within the past several years, teens have come to rely more and more heavily on text messaging. These short bursts of conversation aren’t a good substitute for a good face-to-face conversation:

º Avoid getting too personal. It’s good to express an interest in someone’s life, but asking personal questions can put someone off. If you want to know something, give the person the option of not answering your question.

º Try not to interrogate. If your end of the conversation is all questions, the person you’re speaking with may soon feel like getting away. Share information as you ask questions.

º Avoid one-upmanship. This is the best way to see someone wander away from you, according to Debra Fine, in Huffington Post.

º Don’t tell long-winded stories. You’ll lose your audience.

º Don’t spread rumors. If someone tries to gossip with you, stop them with, “Oh, I don’t like talking about others! Can we talk about . . .”

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