So, why Children Don’t Talk About Bullying to their parents or teachers? Something that is seemingly logical for adults yet the fact remains, Children Don’t Talk About Bullying!
One would think that children, when feeling hurt or attacked by someone else, would go to a source of protection and state when they are being bullied. However, more often than not, children who are victims of bullying often keep the matter to themselves for a variety of reasons. These issues that make Children Don’t Talk About Bullying can include:
- The fact that adults don’t want to get involved very often, making the act of telling them useless for protection.
- The idea of being labelled a snitch or being retaliated against can be a stronger fear than the bullying.
- Bullies don’t want to lose power and admitting what they do would likely end up with that exact result.
- In some cases less overt, subtle bullying isn’t even realized, so its not reported.
- Shame can also be a powerful wall versus reporting, especially when a victim doesn’t want anyone to know he’s been a victim.
Why children don’t talk about bullying, either as the victim or the bully, often can linger into later life as well. Fear and shame can create powerful memories that can dictate behaviour as well as emotional reactions long into the future. Even as an adult, a victim can still clam up or suffer an anxiety attack when flashbacks of a bullying experience are triggered by a modern-day trigger.
So Why children don’t talk about bullying?
Cyber bullying can make matters even worse because a child can go into a panic trying to figure out where a bullying attack is coming from. Often, cyber bullies don’t identify themselves up front. As a result, a child may know he or she is being taunted, exposed, teased, or attacked verbally without know who the source is or why. Children in these situations often won’t want to tell a parent because he or she knows the first reaction will be to likely turn off the computer and Internet access. That, of course, is the last thing a teen wants, still wanting to remain connected to what’s going on.
Regular communication is the key to getting kids to open up about what’s going on in their world, even if it involves bullying. Children need to understand and be reminded that they can go to parents or teachers to find protection and support, especially if dealing with bullying. Talking regularly about what’s happened in a child’s day at school, on the playground or around the neighbourhood will regularly give insights as to what’s going on. Additionally, regular communication help build up a sense of trust with a child, which he or she will use at some point when help is really needed or guidance can come in handy.
No one likes to talk about feeling weak, picked on, or bullied. It’s embarrassing and frustrating to admit to someone, especially a parent, that a person has been bullied. It seems to admit fear and weakness to others, which is a private, difficult situation to disclose to someone else. Children are no different from adults in this respect, feeling ashamed at being unable to defend themselves at times. However, parents and teachers need to pro actively watch for these situations and provide the communication outlet that bullied victims so often need for help. Not doing so simply relegates a child to having to face being bullied alone.
Learn What is Cyber Bullying Now! and why Children Don’t Talk About Bullying NOW!