Imagine being bullied for being pretty. You don’t have to imagine it at all. It happens every day. It may seem somewhat odd to think that a pretty girl would get bullied, but they do. The internet is helping to bring all kinds of bullying cases to light. A simple internet search allows you to read a story about bullying. Why would a pretty girl be bullied? There are several prominent reasons that this article explores.
Pretty victims of Bullying
Jealousy can be a big ingredient when pretty girls are bullied. When it come to relationships with men, pretty girls are a threat. How many men notice every pretty woman? Even if you are having a conversation with a spouse, it is likely that he will notice other women. In teens, this behavior leads to insecurities in other girls. Those insecurities can lead to more powerful emotions such as anger or even hatred. Part of the problem is that teens have few resources for learning how to deal with relationships between couples and between peers. Teens are highly reactive to how other people look rather than finding the hidden qualities, such as personality, which might make a girl more attractive to a boy. Boys too are highly reactive to how a woman looks rather than who she is as a female.
Is it the pretty girls fault that men notice her? No. But an insecure girl will find a way to point out a flaw or say things that make the pretty girl seem different in a bad way. Many times, these “issues” are highly subjective, such as the color of her hair or the length of her legs. Girls will use anything that they can to tear down a girl that the feel is competition.
The Changing Face of Teens
The teen years are highly diverse in how young girls grow up into beautiful women. Those changes are slow, and girls may not recognize that they are pretty or beautiful. They carry with them the self-consciousness of their youth. Suddenly, boys who used to tease them because they were gangly are now trying to talk with them, and girls who have always been pretty are being ignored. The development of beauty is amazing in teens. The rate in which their bodies change is formidable.
When a girl is bullied for being pretty, it is dangerous. The underlying scar can lead to eating disorders and even suicide. It is not just girls who bully pretty girls either. Boys do it too. If a boy is interested in a pretty girl who does not respond to his advances, he may bully her. Maybe he will spread rumors about her, or just tell her she is fat or ugly. The different types of bullying that girls face is rather diverse. All of this occurs while you are developing into a body that is changing like crazy.
What about Parents?
Imagine that you are a young girl who is shy and quiet. Your body changes over the summer vacation, and when you go back to school for the first time, people notice how much you have changed. You sit in class and try to do your work. In the hall boys keep saying, hey you look different. Girls look at you like you are an alien from Mars. It is a difficult position to be in because you are not prepared to deal with all of the attention. Even from the boys, who are probably trying to be positive, but are so ill-prepared to carry on a conversation with a pretty girl are awkwardly mean. Then you have the situation where a boy actually does a good job of talking to you, but he has been talking to all of the pretty girls and that is about to create an entire set of problems.
Preparing Your Daughter for Changes
What can parents do to help prepare their girls and boys for the changes that puberty is going to bring? Some parents do not want to do anything. Either they do not want to face the fact that their little girl is growing up or they are just ultra conservative, and they do not discuss these kinds of trends. If you do nothing, you are just throwing your daughter to the wolves. The above scenario is about to turn into a bullying situation, and the educational experience that your daughter faces is going to be a lot tougher than it needs to be. What if you sat down with your daughter and explained to her how her body has changed and how people are likely going to react to those changes. The more familiar she becomes with the idea that the changes are normal and that people are going to notice the more prepared she will be when she has to deal with them.
Plan It Out and Make it Less Personal
When it comes to bullying parents can sit down and discuss how that process works. If a girl is going to bully another girl because a boy likes them both, what do you as a parent to prepare your child for that. A good first step is to understand that times have changed. Bullying does not have to take place in person. Thanks to social media, it can take place online and at all times of the day and night. We used to be able to come home as children and escape bullying for a while. That is not always the case with kids today. They can be subjected to bullying at all times. That is important information for parents to understand. It means that parents have to be willing to monitor social media and text messages. It means finding a middle ground with many teens over privacy issues. The key is to let your daughter know that you are a friend who is also her parent. By talking with your teen about personal things as often as possible, teens get the idea that they can talk to you about other personal things. That is a winning atmosphere. It is important to be involved in your teen’s personal life while still allowing them to grow. By talking with your teen about bullying and how to deal with bullying, turns a potentially sad story about bullying into a situation where bullies have fewer powers. That is a positive goal that all parents should strive for with their children and teens.
Bullying is a fact of life for many kids. Do you know a girl bullied for being pretty? Ask your teens if they know someone from school who is bullied for being petty. Just sit and listen. Sometimes kids will tell you more about themselves as they tell you about other people who experience the same kinds of things at school.