In Abuse

Why Do Parents Abuse Their Children? The Cause and Effect

why do parents abuse their children

Why Do Parents Abuse Their Children?

One of the last things a parent wants to do is abuse their children, but it does happen.  There are many different reasons why parents abuse their children, but this does not make the situation right.  Here are a few reasons a parent may abuse their child.

Why Do Parents Abuse Their Children? The Parent’s Childhood

Children of parents who were abused often abuse their children.  Adult children of abusive parents can only reference what they were taught and don’t know to think any other way.  Everything their parents taught them, they teach their children, and this can be a never ending cycle.  Parents who were victims of abuse suffer from a lack of a good role model, and their children have more than a 50 percent chance of suffering the same fate.  Children follow the examples their parents show during their childhood.  When children reach adulthood, they lead their children by the examples that were set by their parents.  Sometimes, this is a cycle of tragedy that is difficult to break.  Parents who suffer traumatic events during their childhood live with the tragedy for the rest of their lives.  The tragedy could cause them to “snap” one day, leaving their children behind.

Are Your Expectations Realistic?

A lot of the time, parents have unrealistic expectations of the life of a parent.  An abusive parent’s effect on children can lead into their adulthood and cause problems within future relationships with their children.  Some expecting parents think parenthood is a walk in the park, and everything will be peachy and they will live happily ever after.  The reality of parenthood is it is hard work.  There will be times where you just want to sit back and relax, but when you have a baby, a child requires most of your attention and time.  Juggling a newborn with household chores, work, and other things that must be done can wear a person out quickly.  Parenting is not for everyone, but once the child is here, it’s not something you can back out of or give up easily.  Realistic expectations are all about what’s in the mind.  Some people have a difficult time accepting and separating their dreams from reality.  When the reality does not fit their dream or what they had in mind, the situation can take a turn for the worst.

There are more teen parents in today’s society than there have ever been.  The primary reason teens become parents is due to having unprotected sex.  Babysitting a child and having one of your own is different.  A lot of schools have sexual education classes that require high school students to take a mechanical baby home.  The mechanical baby is designed to demonstrate how unpredictable a newborn baby can be and display some of the issues that may occur.  The mechanical baby cries in the middle of the night, has to be fed, changed, and needs attention.  These efforts of schools are great, but there is nothing that can compare to carrying a child for nine months, enduring labor, and being responsible for another life.  All of this in itself is overwhelming for many adults, so for a teenager, the situation is more stressful and dramatic.  Teenagers are not the only people who will have a difficult time with parenting.  There are many immature adults who become parents who have no clue what lies ahead of them.

Why Do Parents Abuse Their Children? Lack of Support

Lack of support is another reason parents abuse their children.  It’s a cycle that many parents endure.  First, the pregnancy is announced, and one parent has expectations the other does not.  One parent is dreaming of happily ever after, and the other is thinking of the quickest way to get out of the situation.  There may be a lot of arguing back and forth on whether to keep the child or get rid of it.  One parent may want to keep the child while the other wants no part of the situation.

The parent who decides to keep the child may not have the support of their family or their partner’s parents.  Raising a child on your own is a challenge that many parents face.  Carrying a child for nine months is stressful to the mother.  If you she alone, when the baby arrives, things could become worse if she does not have a support system.  A single mother can look to the government for assistant with her child.  The government will assist the mother with food stamps, medical care for the child, and other necessities, such as housing.  A man who is a single parent may require the same assistance from the government but the steps and qualifications are different.  Abuse in this instance stems from factors such as, stress and frustration.  A support group is there to help people through hard times and rough patches.  People who do not have a support group often fall through the cracks because they break down until nothing is left.

There are times where the parent needs a break from their child.  The parent needs to regroup and re-enter the situation refreshed and revitalized.  If the parent does not have a support group, the crying and whining of a newborn baby at all times during the day and night can become overwhelming and take a turn for the worst.

Why Do Parents Abuse Their Children? The Use of Alcohol and Drugs

Some parents abuse their children because they have an alcohol or drug addiction.  Many studies reveal alcohol and drug abuse play a major role in child abuse.  People are not themselves when they are under the influence of a drug or substance.  Drugs and substances, such as alcohol cause many people to lose control and lash out at other people.  When alcohol and drugs enter the situation, physical child abuse is not the only form of abuse that occurs.  Aside from physical abuse, emotional abuse becomes an issue.  Child abuse when drugs and alcohol are involved occur because drugs and alcohol alter a person’s mind.  Parents may not be abusive when they are sober, but may become abuse when they are under the influence of drugs or alcohol.

Why Do Parents Abuse Their Children? Coping with Emotional Disorders

There are many people who are parents who suffer from emotional disorders, such as depression, and bipolar and anxiety disorders.  Parents who suffer from anxiety and other disorders have a more difficult time dealing with stress than parents who do not suffer from emotional disorders.  People who suffer from bipolar disorder, depression, and similar conditions have a difficult time taking care of themselves, let alone caring for another person who depends solely upon them for their entire being for many years.  Many people in today’s society suffer from emotional disorders.  People who have emotional disorders can become parents, but it may be more difficult.  Depending on the disorder, people can take medication and lead a normal life with children.  Severe cases of emotional disorders may require a person to take medication and attend therapy sessions.  When the prescribed medication is not taken correctly or at all, child abuse can be one of the many side effects of the situation.  Some people with emotional disorders take their medication for a while, and determine they are better, and stop taking the medication.  This is a dangerous time for the individual and the people around them.

Why Do Parents Abuse Their Children? Children with Mental Disorders or Handicaps 

Children who suffer from a mental disorder or children who are handicap are more likely to become a victim of abuse because of the attention they require more attention than a child who does not suffer from a mental disorder or a child who has not be declared handicap.  Children who suffer from mental disorders may require special care and attention for the rest of their lives.  Medication, equipment and care for a child who suffers from a mental disorder or who is handicap can become expensive, and the situation can become overwhelming.

Parental Abuse by Children

Adults who were the victim of abuse during their childhood by their parents continue the cycle and abuse their parents.  Both aspects of the situation are wrong, but abuse is a cycle that repeats itself.  Parental abuse by grown children is more common than many people like to believe.  Children abusing parents is at an all-time high comparing to previous years.  Children of abusive parents will more than likely abuse their parents as revenge and abuse their children because of their abusive childhood.

Types of Child Abuse

There are six types of child abuse, including:
•    Sexual abuse
•    Emotional abuse
•    Neglect
•    Organized sexual abuse
•    Physical abuse
•    Family violence

Sexual Abuse: Sexual abuse is defined as an adult taking sexual liberties with a minor and forcing them to become part of sexual acts and behavior.  Signs of sexual abuse in childhood include mood swings, self-harm, aggressive behavior, detachment, and suicidal behavior.
Emotional Abuse: Emotional abuse refers to the psychological and social aspect of abusing a child.  Emotional abuse is the most common form of child abuse.  Signs of emotional abuse in children include difficulty making friends, unexplained pains, constant unhappiness, anti-social, and academic difficulties.

Neglect: Neglect is another common form of child abuse.  Although there is not a definite definition for neglect in a child abuse sense, there are many different factors that neglect includes.  A few factors that neglect includes is lack of food, lack of shelter and clothing, lack of supervision, and lack of moral guidance.

Organized Sexual Abuse: Organized sexual abuse is a problem for many countries.  Organized sexual abuse occurs when children are victims of more than one predator when sexual abuse is present.  Organized sexual abuse includes ritualistic abuse, child pornography, and sadistic sexual techniques and practices.

Physical Abuse: Physical abuse occurs in many homes across the globe.  Physical abuse is assaults on children that is considered a serious crime.  Examples of physical abuse include slapping a child, hitting them with an object, slapping a child, or causing them bodily harm.

Family Violence: Family violence is emerging more in the news today than it ever has.  Family violence occurs when mothers, fathers, grandparents, and other members in the family take part in abusing a child.  In this situation, the child is often blamed for the abuse they receive.

There are many different support groups that are willing to help single parents and families who are struggling to cope with the new life of parenthood.  Some parents learn as they go, and others were taught the right and the wrong way to do things.  Regardless of which category you fall in, there is always help, so never be afraid to reach out and ask someone to help you.  There are many reasons why parents abuse their children, but the reasons and explanations do not make the situation correct.

If you or someone you know is going through an abusive situation, please seek help.

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