In Abuse

Power and Control Wheel: Domestic Violence Explained!

What is domestic Violence power and control wheel? Well, there is more to domestic violence than being mean, hitting, cursing or fighting. This is much more than these. It is abuse of power. The abuser does what it takes – physical violence, threats or intimidation – to get control of her or his partner.

Many people assume that “domestic violence” is something that happens only on TVs or to others, but not to people they know or themselves. Many people have no idea that how they are being treated in their marriage or relationship fits perfectly into “domestic violence” category.

Once they get to talk about what they experience and what actually domestic violence is, you can see the bulb go on. It is a process for people. When they can take in the information and apply it to their different situations, they start to see things from a different kind of perspective. Their goal is to have the courage they need to take the necessary steps to protect themselves and make changes in their life.

Anyone can fall victim of domestic violence. Such violence may take different forms and can happen every time or occasionally. Domestic violence power and control wheel is defined as actions used by people to control others. The abuse can be sexual, physical or emotional. But the point of whatever that act may be – it is the power and control wheel of someone over the other.

Here are some behaviors of domestic violence abusers. They may do some or even all of these to exert control over their spouses. If you’re experiencing such in your relationship, you ought to acknowledge what’s going and get help:

  • Putdowns or Name-calling – for instance you are stupid; you can never do the right thing, you are so ugly etc.
  • Prevents from contacting your friends or family – they might isolate you from the most important people in your life saying that they want to break up your marriage, etc.
  • Hiding or withholding money – you cannot live if you can’t access the bank account.
  • Prevents from getting a job – most abusers want you to stay at home since they feel that you may be attracted to someone else, or vice versa.
  • Threats or harms physically – most abusers may intimidate, threaten, spit, push, slap, shove, hit, etc., depending on how much control they feel they are losing over you or how much they feel they need to control you.
  • Sexual assault – A partner who is forcing you to engage in sexual activity is applying domestic violence. Unless you approve, nobody has the right to your body apart from yourself.
  • Stalking – showing up unexpectedly wherever you go, listening to your conversations, or tracking you is domestic violence.
  • Pressurizing – Abusers always use the fear factor. When you behave in a different way around your spouse just out of fear, for whatsoever reason, that is actually intimidation, which is domestic violence.

What are the Psychological Effects of Domestic Violence?

On the other hand, cycle of abuse wheel occurs in a recurring manner. It can be depicted as both episodic and generational abuse cycles. Generational cycles are those passed down by example from parents to their children whereas episodic cycles happen in a recurring manner within a relationship of two people. For most victims, it is not easy to identify when a pattern develops in the relationship.

Instead, most people often perceive violent acts as isolated incidents. Yet, episodic mistreatment usually happens in cycles, with acts meant to break and control the victim’s spirit, together with periods of nurturing care and loving support. Do not be a victim, ensure you protect yourself, and learn to identify the cycle of violence wheel abuse.

These are the main stages of cycle of abuse

The cycle may happen so many times in a relationship, although the stages will be different in intensity and time, but, they are usually present in every instance of power and control wheel.

  1. Tension

The episodic cycle abuse begins verbally, for instance with harassment and/or loud screaming as well as threats of assault. At this instant, the victim can calm such situations by using the skills that he learned from handling similar and past experiences. Most victims will not agree that their spouses are abusing them and end up making excuses for them. However, most victims recognize that such small incidents will usually escalate and bring about bigger and more dangerous occurrences. The victims always seem to take matters upon themselves to keep everything running efficiently so as not to worsen the situation. Such victims endure a lot of emotional stress at this point.

  1. The explosion

During the second stage of domestic violence wheel, nothing that the victim does or say can put an end to violence. All the tension from the previous stage is released. The abuser lacks self-control, is fuming, and oblivious to the harm he or she is causing. Severe damage can be done to his or her spouse. This second phase of the cycle is normally shorter compared to the two stages. However, the victim endures very tormenting abuse.

  1. Remorse

The third stage is the reconciliation or the honeymoon stage, which is identified by some period of normalcy. The violent person may seem to be very apologetic, going to higher lengths to ask for forgiveness. He or she might be warm, charming, and remorseful and may give surety to the victim that the brutal behavior will not occur again.

  1. Calm

This happens before tension begins again. The violent one behaves like the brutality never happened and the promises made during the remorseful stage might be met. Several presents are often given to the offended.

How does the victim get affected by the wheel of power and control?

The dangerous lgbt power and control wheel of abuse cycle can destroy the offended. Every time the cycle happens the offended loses more of themselves, turning out to be a damaged and different person. Some negative effects of continuous abuse may include:

  • Not wanting to stay at home
  • Spending more time away from home
  • The feelings of insignificance and low self-esteem
  • Depression, which may lead to suicide
  • Emotional difficulties, which include shame, emotional numbness, emotional highs and lows
  • Illnesses – emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally
  • Addictions to drug abuse, for instance alcohol,cocaine etc.
  • Withdrawal from actual life into different reality -generally the Internet

How to stop the power and control wheel of abuse

Abuse can be stopped with outside assistance. The first step to putting an end to such is to accept that you’re being mistreated and that it’s not your fault. The next step is to consider the safety of your family as well as your own safety.

If any of these rings a bell for you, make sure you take the necessary steps to get help. Keep in mind that you’re not alone. There are so many people just like you suffering in silence. So, do whatsoever is necessary and get support to get out of the depressing situation. Set boundaries between you and the abuser and seek help. The sooner you seek help, the better.

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