Marie Krag is a MA Psychotherapist/Counsellor. You can reach her at www.mariekragtherapy.co.uk. She talks to NoBullying.com about what everyone should know about the many pictures of Bullying. There is no one side to bullying but rather several sides, images and pictures of Bullying.
NB: What would be your definition of A Bully?
A person that intimidates another to control , disrespect, or frighten them.
NB: Are parents, teachers and social workers dealing with bullied victims and/or bullies the right way?
In schools it would be mostly up to the head and the school’s policy. In a private school where my grandsons attended there were signs all over saying that there was zero tolerance of bullying. I understand with the girls it was more difficult as it was not so obvious, more like underhanded comments.
NB: Are children/people more aggressive on-line…
I doubt it. It is a new form of “communication”. We will have to learn to deal with it.
NB:What should a school or parent watch out for in a child’s behaviour that might be a warning sign of bullying?
Not wanting to go to school. Falling grades. Being more silent.
NB:What can schools do to ensure they provide the best education and advice to children on Bullying?
Have open discussions and surely there are some videos out that cover this.
NB:Have you knowledge of any severe cases and consequences of Bullying?
Not at school.
NB:Can a spouse/life partner bully their significant other?
That is what we therapists do. Sexual abuse from brother to sister, sexual abuse from brother to brother (the victim later committed suicide) and the unfortunate abuse that does go on from parent, step-parent to children.
NB:How do people bully others today?
In the same way they always have. Threats, spreading false rumours, physical violence.
NB: Is social media, mobile phones and easier on-line access making it easier for bullies?
Yes because it makes it more difficult for teachers and parents to monitor it. But with any new technology we need to find ways to deal with this.
NB:Any tips or advice on how a parent should approach Bullying with their children to ensure they understand how wrong it is?
The most important thing is to have a relationship with a child that they feel it is OK to approach the parent with a problem. I think an open discussion about bullying is to ensure the child that they won’t make it worse by going to the school to report it (though if the school really doesn’t have a decent policy, it could make it worse). One father I heard of found out his son was being bullied by older, bigger boys. He approached these boys and asked them if they would “protect” his son as he thought they were tough enough to do this. A real chance he took but he said it worked. My younger son was bullied on the school bus – evidently my friend’s older boy sorted it out quickly and completely. I never knew about it until years later. My other son’s cap was grabbed and threw away on the train coming back from school. I just went out and bought another cap. The next thing that happened was that we got a letter (he could hardly write) from the boy who evidently did it apologizing profusely . This I think was due to a headmaster that just wouldn’t tolerate bullying of any kind.
NB: If a child has been bullied – what is the best advice for them?
Tell the teacher, tell the parents. It may be appropriate to tell the police.
NB: Is there likely to be long term effects on children who are Bullied?
Of course. Lack of self- confidence, fear of those, mistrust of others.
NB: What would you advise a person who is being bullied in work?
That would depend on who – is it their boss? Is it a colleague? Companies usually have policies about this. I felt I was being bullied in my last job. I took it up and beyond the director of the unit I was with. I managed to hang onto the job but I don’t advise causing waves. It doesn’t help your career. I think in most cases it is better to find another job. I was going to leave this job eventually anyway because I was coming to the UK.
NB: Any current trends we should be aware of?
Continue to monitor what happens with the new communication technology.