In Parents, Parents' Coaching, Understand Bullying

Why Do They Say My Child is A Bully

Why Do They Say Your Child Is A Bully

My Child is A Bully, Just Like Me!

Children often copy adult bullies. Many parents of children who are bullies are the child’s best teacher without being aware. Children may deliberately copy behavior negatives of adult bullying observed at home because they idolize the parent who performs the negatives.. It is usually a matter of pride when a parent sees a son or daughter emulating the parent’s behavior. However, closer attention should be paid to those behaviors which result in problems or problematic situations, such as when a child emulates adult bullies.

This is a difficult and parenting-challenging decision to make. No one wants to think of himself as a bad example, especially if you have also committed the sin of laughing at some of the bad behavior in the past, before recognizing the implications. Parents who truly want the best of their offspring know that “easy” is not in the parenting code, and sometimes a good parent is the one who can swallow their own negative adult bullying contributions and help their child become good champions and not bad ones.

All too often, a child who bullies is carrying forward behavior he has seen at home. Perhaps he watches his parents bullying each other verbally or otherwise. Perhaps, instead, the adult bullying parent bullies the children habitually, and in emotional venting, the child bullies classmates or younger children. This chain is another one of domestic abuse that needs to change in order to save the future happiness and productivity of the future adult the child will become. Not all domestic abuse involves a raging father who beats his wife or children mercilessly, although that certainly is the worse example. There are other more insidious abuses of the family unit, and adult bullying is one of the most prevalent.

My Child is A Bully: BulliesĀ At School

The family home is not the only source you child has to observe adult bullying, of course. The television and movie agendas are ripe with the conduct, and today’s cartoons have little to do with humor but instead with one entity overcoming another. It may seem ridiculous to insist that we need to censor our children’s cartoon viewing until you sit down and truly observe some of the features. What is appropriate in the cartoon may land your child in trouble on the playground or classroom. You may even find some of the bullying features acted out in your own home with brothers and sisters, or even you.

There is no pattern for bullying that is unique. If children are short, talk fat, thin, red haired or have anything about their bodies, speech, clothing or background that can be picked out as a bullying target, it is done. If parents are chosen due to their body image, educations, work or habits, their child can be targeted simply for being their child. It is a cruel episode in our educational system, and schools are endeavoring to battle the bullying. However, educators believe most bullying attitudes are formed before the child enters school. This places the focus on what the child learned from parents or family before reaching school age regarding bullying.

One unfortunate target is the homosexuality issue, in that if a boy is small in stature he may be called “gay”, and a large girl can receive bullying about her size. This is most likely learned from the home environment of the bullying children. Organizations have been formed to educate and combat this bullying problem with varying success across the nation. They are openly adamant in educating parents as well as children about anti-gay remarks and bullying.

A parent need not embrace a different lifestyle, race or creed with open arms to cease any negative comments or cruel jokes about those who do. Parents can teach children to be respectful of others without encouraging them to adopt their differences as their own lifestyle. To teach a child to not bully but to be kind is good parenting, not an abandonment of the parent’s values. This is where most parents stumble, inasmuch as they mistakenly believe a contamination will occur if their child is exposed to others of different religions, race or even sexual lifestyle. This mistaken belief has been a deterrent to peace and fodder for wars for too long. If good parenting well can make a change, this must be the priority.

Summary

Once a parent takes responsibility for what their child does or says outside the home as much as inside it, a new beginning in communication within the family develops. The increased communication goes deeper than what to watch on tv or not to play music loudly. Parents can direct more meaningful conversations regarding honesty, kindness, sensitivity and respect once their new responsibility is recognized by the child or children.

 

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