Reports of bullying are increasingly on the rise. Students and teachers alike are being bullied in schools, employees are being bullied by members of management and it seems that almost anyone on the internet is fair game. Diffusing a situation in which a bully is confronting another person can be difficult. Learning the best way to approach a situation can prevent someone from being emotionally and physically battered. So what are the most important Lessons on Bullying?
Lessons in bullying are often learned when a person is on the receiving end of a bad situation. Bullies target anyone who they believe they can get the better of. Most bullies thrive on being more powerful than their opponent and revel in the notion that they can, in some way control the other person and make them do their bidding.
Why Bullies Act the Way They Do
Bullies act the way they do for a variety of reasons. No two situations are ever alike. People often try to guess the reason behind another person’s actions. The problem with that is, by doing so they are judging another person’s circumstances without knowing the truth behind the situation. They are also placing blame in such a way as to put the other person at complete fault, when in actuality, they may be acting in the only way they know how.
A bully is normally a product of their environment. They are taught how to act by watching how others act around them. In some instances, when a student has little adult supervision, they basically have no rules to follow and no role models to emulate. When that situation arises, they mold themselves into whatever they decide they want to be.
A few circumstances that produce a child with a bully mentality are:
- An abusive home
- A home where their mental, emotional and physical needs are not being met
- Mental disorders that prompt aggressive behavior (Oppositional Defiance Disorder)
- Students who have little or no adult supervision
- Students who are bullied by other students
Bullies are produced by circumstances and conditions in which they feel they have little control. A child who chooses to bully will often act out because they want to be in control of something, especially if they cannot be in control of the things they want.
Ways to Effectively Diffuse a Situation with a Bully
When a situation arises between a bully and their victim, great care must be taken to make sure things do not escalate into a violent situation for all. The majority of bullying reports include verbal harassment. Yelling, taunting, calling name and teasing another student can hurt their feelings, but rarely will it progress to violence.
The next type of bullying is social or relational bullying. Again, this type of bullying rarely turns violent. Instead the bully chooses to attempt to turn others against the victim in the hopes of destroying the victim’s relationships with others. Diffusing these types of situations can be rather difficult unless the bully is caught in the act or someone reports them to school officials. When it comes to relational bullying, it’s hard to know who exactly started the campaign to harass and destroy a student’s friendships.
If a person does come upon an altercation between a bully and their victim, they should take the following steps to maintain everyone’s safety:
- Approach the individuals in question
- Talk to each one to determine what exactly is going on (It may be wise to talk to each one privately so that both individuals feel free to discuss the situation openly.)
- Get to the bottom of the incident by talking to witnesses who were in close proximity
- In some cases, there will be no middle ground so the best solution is to find away for the parties to agree to disagree and remain neutral
- Advise both parties to avoid one another if there is no way for them to be in the same area and remain at peace with one another
Lessons on bullying often show that not every case will be resolved. The best conclusion is one where both parties remain apart and avoid one another. In other cases, what starts out as an altercation between two drastically different individuals, can eventually turn into a strong, but unusual friendship between two very unique individuals.
Learning to understand and accept another person’s differences is the key to overcoming many issues that stem from bullying behavior. Anti bullying lessons revolve around how to approach a situation where bullies try to manipulate others. Sometimes, a person chooses to bully others because they have a strong desire for attention that they may not get anywhere else. When this kind of situation arises, it is quite apparent that the bully is not really a bad or vindictive person, they are only doing what they know in an attempt to gain some form of recognition.
Lessons on Cyber bullying
Cyber bullying lessons can involve much more depth. When a person chooses to be a cyber bully, they want maximum control without any of the notoriety that accompanies it. Most cyber bullies excel at remaining anonymous. Part of the thrill of bullying their victim comes from the fact that the victim has no clue who is targeting them. The unknowns that are experienced when someone begins to receive threats and comments via email can be unsettling.
Individuals who are bullied through internet accounts can ultimately turn to local law enforcement agencies if they feel they are in danger or being physically attacked or threatened with bodily injury. There are also several things they can do to protect themselves while they are surfing the web. They include:
- Installing anti-virus programs on all electronic devices including cell phones, tablets, computers and laptops
- Change passwords often to avoid being hacked
- Never disclose personal information to anyone
- Never enter chat rooms or instant message with strangers
- Turn settings on social media accounts to private
Bullies who attack people on line often get the majority of their information from social media accounts. Turn privacy settings to private and make sure only close friends and family are able to see pictures, comments and posts. This will eliminate stalkers and cyber bullies from being able to convince someone they are friends or even a friend of a friend.
How to Avoid Being Bullied
There are several lessons on bullying that attempt to teach people how to avoid being bullied. Many of the points are quite valid but it boils down to common sense and being willing to take necessary precautions. A few of the most common tips when it comes to avoiding bullies include:
- Don’t act like a victim. A person who is self confident, makes eye contact and acts like they have nothing to fear will often times be passed over as a target. Bullies do not want to mess with anyone who they feel will be a fair match.
- Bullies look for targets. A bully will purposely choose an individual who acts as if they are weak or not in control of their surroundings. Bullies want an easy target, not one that will stand up and offer any type of resistance.
- Remain attentive. Bullies often look for individuals who they can catch off guard. People should constantly be aware of their surroundings and who is in the vicinity. This eliminates surprise attacks and will help a person gain an advantage if someone approaches them in a threatening manner.
Understanding how bullies think and what they look for in targets are just a couple of the lessons on bullying many anti bullying programs teach. Knowing how to remain safe in any situation will give a person the upper hand if a bully attempts to target them.
Bullies rely on the ability to instill fear in their targets. Individuals who don’t show fear and act like they will rise to the challenge will often discover that the bully will rethink their decision to confront them. In situations where bullying takes place over the internet, the victim can send a message stating that any communications will be turned over to law enforcement. If the bullying continues, it’s in the persons best interest to follow through with the threat and contact the police. Odds are if the bully is attacking one person on line, he or she is also attacking others.
Do you have suggested lessons on bullying we should be teaching our kids? Then we invite to sit down, write those lessons on bullying and how those lessons on bullying can inspire teachers to prepare better and more educating lessons on bullying today. We would love nothing more than to publish your view on lessons on bullying!