Do you think Teasing and Bullying are the same? Think again!
Bullying in School is Increasing
Much of the public domain is probably aware of the subject of bullying in school. It seems as though bullying of adults and children are on the increase and have been in the news too much. Bullying is occurring more on social networking sites. Bullies can violently tease others behind the internet without anyone knowing who is making the unacceptable remarks. Many times these bullies say, “Oh, I was just teasing, can’t you take a joke”?
Many people do not know the difference between teasing and bullying. There is a marked difference between being a tease and being a bully, and neither teasing nor bullying in school of a person is a nice thing to do and can scar that person for life. Teasing and bullying in school follow the child all their life into adulthood.
Definition of Teasing
According to the dictionary, definition of teasing is as follows: “To make fun of somebody: to make fun of somebody, either playfully or maliciously, deliberately annoy somebody, or irritate a person or an animal, to persuade somebody by coaxing; to urge somebody, especially to do something, by continual coaxing”. Synonyms of teasing are joker, mocker, clown, josher, teaser, tormenter, and leg-puller.
According to the dictionary, definition of bullying is as follows: “intimidation of a weaker person: the process of intimidating or mistreating somebody weaker or in a more vulnerable situation”. The synonyms of bullying are intimidation, mistreatment, oppression, harassment, victimization, maltreatment, hounding.
Many Adults Have Experienced Teasing and Bullying as a Child
Many children complain of others teasing them at some point in their life. An adult or a peer can tease a child. An adult can tease the child in a playful manner, but in the mind of the child, that may not be the case. This may be hurtful to the child and something that he/she will never forget. Adults must be careful of their teasing of a child in fun.
If you are an adult, you can probably remember an instance or two when you came home crying because some other kid was teasing you in school. Maybe you can remember an incident where a relative may have teased you as a child, and it left a lasting, forever and not so memorable of an impression on your mind. Some people even feel that these two behaviors are one in the same, and may use these two words as meaning the same thing.
Anything can prompt a child or adult to tease somebody. Is it the way they are walking, something they did or said? Was it something their parent did? Was it a stupid and silly action? Teasing can come about because of any number of causes.
Teasing and bullying in school are negative social behaviors that take on a definite discrimination towards another person. Sometimes violent behavior can emerge from teasing, but while teasing can be harmful, it is less harmful than bullying. Violence generally stems from bullying situations. Both teasing and bullying are not socially acceptable in the eyes of the victims being teased.
Teasing can start at any time. One or more persons can tease a person. If you have lived with brothers and sisters, then you probably have had your share of teasing. This innocent fun teasing can turn into hurt feelings if it gets out of hand.
Quite often, an older sibling will try to dictate the younger brother or sister. Since the younger sibling does not stand a chance, they may tease the older sibling in front of the parents or their friends, in order to get back at them. Generally, this teasing stops as the siblings mature. Some times the child never curbs their teasing behaviors and they take the behavior into their adult years.
Everyone has gently teased someone in his or her lifetime. When teasing increases, becoming more pronounced and nasty, it makes this behavior unacceptable. The person has crossed the line of decency and respect for the feelings of the other person (s).
Face the Fact, Children Can be Cruel to Each Other with Teasing and Bullying
The bottom line is that children can be cruel. They do not understand many things in their young life and are apt to tease another child who is slightly different. Maybe the child’s parents do not have a lot of money to buy the child nice school clothes. Thus, others tease the child because of the lack of fashion.
Small children take a lot of displeasure in being teased. Teasing often occurs on the playground and leads to a physical encounter or rowdy fight. Even this scuffle does not generally lead to bullying. When the child who is being teased, stands up against the other child, this action may be enough to stop future teasing.
Many people consider teasing to be only a specific form of harmless communication. Everybody relates to teasing differently because no one individual is like another. Everyone is a unique individual. Teasing can come about if a child does not display what society considers a ‘normal’ appearance or behavior.
Teasing in essence is the same as making fun of someone. While most people feel that teasing is harmless, it can leave some scars on the victim. When teasing continues unceasingly, a line crosses into a different arena of bullying in school as described earlier. The person now is feeling like a victim. This ongoing and unceasing teasing in front of others begins to wear on the person, causing real distress and stress for the person.
Bullying in school among schoolchildren is serious and is a big problem. Often time’s parents may have an idea that some bullying in school may be taking place with their child through certain signs.
• Does the child come home famished every day, because someone takes his/ her lunch?
• Does the child keep “losing” money ear marked for the lunch program or some project in school?
• Does the child come home at night with rips in their clothing, or has pieces of clothing missing?
• Does the child report that their school materials frequently need replacing because he has “lost” them?
• Has the child had some mood changes?
• Does the child seem depressed, less communicative, not hunger or eating all the time, are they withdrawing from family activities or general interests they normally love?
• Is the child becoming insecure, showing a low self-esteem, and worthless?
• Is the child afraid to go to school, outside, or away from home?
• Does the child complain of feeling sick all the time so as not to go to school?
• Notable drop in grades
These are all signs and symptoms of a child, younger or older, who is a victim of a bully. If a child complains that, he is the victim of a bully at school, or a group of bullies, the parents should sit up and take notice. They should listen to their child and then act.
Teasing and Bullying in School Can Leave Deep Emotional Scars
Bullying in school can leave deep physical and emotional scars, for life. All people, parents, school officials, children, authorities, the police and many more need to stop the crime of bullying in school. The public needs to know that crime of bullying in school is not tolerated at any age.
The thing is with an adult who is a big bully, is a child who has not matured and grown up. Their thinking is still immature and childlike. When parents are bullies there is a big problem for the children in this family. This type of adult or child can be dangerous and their behavior needs reporting to the police or proper authorities. A paper trail of reported incidents needs to be on file so that these behaviors are on record.
Bullying in school can cross many different cultural lines. Teasing can start out innocently enough, but keeping this teasing behavior up can turn into serious bullying behaviors over the years. Sometimes, some parents are bullies themselves and teach their children that it is acceptable behavior to bully others.
Bullies like to show others who are boss. Sometimes a bully will bully another bully and the stronger bully will win out. Victims of bullying in school incidents are generally directed towards a shy and or weaker person who can be easily intimidated. A shy and weak person will not retaliate back at the bully due to fear out of what will happen to them, so they do not stand up for themselves.
Teasing and Bullying: What Can the Bullied Child’s Parents Do?
Parents need to communicate with their child, and give them time to relate what is happening. Parents need to be empathetic. The child will need help to solve the problem with the help of their parents. Parents will need to go with the child to a school official and report what is happening and let the school deal with the bully and their parents.
Lastly, parents do have the option of filing a police report and pressing charges. Parents should not deal with the bully and their parents. They need to let the authorities take control of the situation. Parents need to take an active role in their child’s bullying problems and ask the teacher to take note on how the child responds to the bullying.
Parents should share with the child’s teacher what is happening to their child. This will help to keep the teacher focused on similar behavioral problems at school if she is aware that the child has had problems. Parents should contact the teacher and make an appointment to discuss how the child is reacting in class. If the situation warrants further investigation, parents should request a school psychologist to consider the child for therapy to help them cope with this type of behavior in other.
Parents should keep a close eye on the child to and from school and possibly monitor playground activity out of sight of their child and their peers. Schools should enact programs to bring the bullying problem to the surface. Schools should bring in authorities on the matter of bullying, such as bullied adults when they were young, doctors, psychiatrists, school authorities, the police, a soldier and anyone who can relate to children that bullying is unacceptable behavior in society and is a crime.
Perhaps taking children for a tour through the city jail will open the bullies’ eyes. Let the bully understand where they pay the time, for their crime of bullying. This may help the bully to see things in a new light. This may be education enough to stop the increasing number of bullying cases.
Schools in conjunction with parents and the authorities should work together to raise awareness of this unacceptable behavior in society. Society needs to know that bullying has become a big problem. The result of bullying of another is fear, sickness, loneliness, embarrassment, hurt feeling, and much more. The bully in time may resort to name calling, threats, scare tactics, pushing, kicking, punching, and hitting. Sometimes weapons are used, such as sticks, stone, and knives. The bully may make the child do things they do not want to do. That is why bullying in school has become a serious crime, not to be taken lightly.
It is difficult to say exactly why bullies act this way. If the bully has lacked attention most of their young life, that person may resort to bullying. Some kids think that if they become the school bully they will be popular with the other kids. When bullies pick on the weak and unsuspecting it makes them feel big and full of power. Kids will keep their eyes on them and consider them the ruler.
Bullies have missed important aspects of their life, and the parents are usually at fault. Some bullies have been victims themselves and feel that this is the only way to protect themselves from other bullies. The last thing that a bully thinks about is how their actions are affecting their victims. Many times bullies do not need a reason to behave badly, and it is a matter of the victim being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Learn all you need to know about School Bullying. And Spread the word on whether Teasing and Bullying are the same!