Going through a breakup is never an easy situation. Sometimes, it may even feel as though you’ll never find another person who can make you as happy and fulfilled as your ex. In many ways, a breakup can seem like the end of the world; you may find yourself feeling depressed and wondering how you are ever going to move on. Fortunately, however, a breakup doesn’t need to be the end of the world. In fact, there are many solutions when it comes to how to get over a break up. Read on to explore a few of the best ways to make it happen.
How to Get Over a Break Up: Understand Why it Happened
The first step to figuring out how to get over the pain of a breakup is to figure out exactly how and why it happened. After all, there’s definitely a reason that the two of you are no longer together. And more than likely, there’s more than one reason. Take the time to consider your relationship, where things may have gone wrong, and why you ultimately split up.
You may feel as though the reason for the breakup was entirely your fault, but it’s important not to think this way. In any breakup, there are mistakes that both parties have made along the way to contribute to the decision to break things off. Therefore, while it’s good to acknowledge places where you may have gone wrong so that you can avoid them in future relationships, you should also understand that the breakup was likely just as much your ex’s fault.
Take Plenty of Space
Regardless of whether it was you who did the breaking up or if you were the one broken up with, it’s important for you to have your space in the days, weeks, and possibly even months or years following the breakup.
Sometimes, it can be difficult to not run into your ex, especially if the two of you worked together, lived near each other, or even went to school together. In these situations, however, it’s important to do everything you can to establish a distance between the two of you. For instance, if you work together, you may want to consider asking a supervisor to have one of you transferred to a different department or store.
Why is taking plenty of space so important when it comes to how to get over a breakup quickly? Because if you’re constantly in contact with your ex, one of two things is going to happen: you’re either going to feel stressed out and upset every time you’re around your ex or you’re going to end up falling for each other again. Neither of this situations is one that you want to find yourself in.
Let Yourself Cope
If the relationship meant anything to you at all, then there’s going to come a time following the breakup that you feel a great deal of emotional pain. You may find yourself feeling sad, angry, confused, or perhaps a combination of all of these. Either way, it’s important that you allow yourself to experience these feelings as they come–within reason.
Let yourself spend an entire day at home watching trash TV, eating junk food, and crying over your ex. It’s okay; you’ll likely feel a lot better afterwards. Sometimes, you just need to get these things out of your system before you can begin to move on.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that you should let yourself become a mess for the next month as you try to get over your ex. Allow yourself some time to grieve, but don’t let your grief consume your life.
Why is grieving and coping so important? Because if your try to suppress those unpleasant emotions, you never truly deal with them. Instead, they become stronger and stronger until you eventually have a breakdown.
Find a Support System
When you’re striving to learn how to get over a tough breakup, having a strong support system can make all the difference. Don’t hesitate to talk to family members and trusted friends about the way you’re feeling. It’s important that you don’t try to handle everything on your own and it’s okay to have to reach out to your loved ones for help every once in awhile; after all, isn’t that what they’re there for?
Make sure you have a friend that you can call when you’re feeling down and who will remind you about all the times you fought with your ex or how miserable your ex made you feel. This will help you maintain your strength and fight any urges that you may be having to contact your ex and try to fix things.
Furthermore, friends and family can also be a great distraction from the unwanted feelings that come after a breakup. By spending time with your close friends and family after the breakup, you’ll be in a better place to get over it because you’ll be able to keep your mind off of it. Spend time shopping at the mall with your friends, seeing movies together, and doing things that make you happy.
Try Using Reflection
Of course, when you’re working on how to get over breakup depression, there will be times when you simply have to rely on yourself and your own strength. This is where keeping a journal or writing a reflective letter to yourself can be very helpful.
Keeping a journal is a great way to get your feelings out of your head and down onto paper, and may be a good place to share emotions that you don’t even feel comfortable sharing with your friends and family. Writing can also be a very therapeutic act, so this is definitely something to consider trying, if you haven’t already.
Get Rid of Those Old Mementos
If you’ve got pictures of you and your ex still hanging up in your room, in your office at work, or in your locker at school, then it’s time to get rid of those. The last thing you need right now is a constant reminder of your ex. Get rid of all photos, mementos (stuffed animals, cards, love notes, etc). If there are certain things you want to keep, put them in a box that you can put into storage; don’t keep these mementos out in the open where you can easily see them. This won’t do you any good when it comes to figuring out how to get over a bad break up.
If you want to have some fun with it, consider getting together with a friend, going outside, and burning your old mementos from your ex in a fire. This can be a very liberating experience, and many report that they feel a lot better afterwards.
Spruce Up Your Space
Another great step you can take when it comes to answering the question of “how do you get over a break up?” is to add some new decor to your living space or office. This can help you get a sense of a “fresh start” and boost your spirits. You could consider re-painting a room in your home where you and your ex used to spend a lot of time together, hanging up new framed photos, and taking other steps to freshen up your living spaces. In fact, you might be surprised at just what a difference this can make.
Take Up a New Hobby
If you find yourself wondering “how long to get over a break up?” then it may also be a good idea to take up a new hobby. This is an especially good idea for those looking for help with how to get over a painful breakup. Getting into a new hobby, whether it be a sport, skill, or craft, can help you to focus your attention on something other than your break up.
Consider taking a minute to explore your interests and figuring out what it is that you’ve always wanted to do but never knew how. This could be anything from knitting a scarf to running a half marathon. Either way, taking the time to work towards these goals can be a helpful answer to the question of how to get over break up.
Keep Yourself Active
When you go through a tough breakup, it can be easy to become a couch potato, stay at home, and become depressed. Don’t let this happen to you; otherwise, you’ll never be able to figure out how to get over your breakup.
Sure, it may be hard to stay motivated to get your daily exercise when you’re so worried about how to get over a long term relationship breakup, but taking the time to hit the gym or even go for a walk each day can help you keep a positive self image and fight depression.
Learning how to get over breakups is unfortunately something that many people need to do on multiple occasions in life. So if you find yourself wondering “how do I get over a breakup?” rest assured that you’re not alone.