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No matter the situation in life, the family will play an important role for the youth involved. Simple things like family interaction take more than one person and are ideal when the whole family is involved. What is the real Family Role?
When it comes to situational problems, the entire family will be a helpful part of solving any problem. When a child has problems at school, there is generally a conference with the child’s teachers. After this conference, there is ideally a discussion between the child and the parents. This will allow the parents to hear the child’s explanation and also tell the child what was discussed with the teacher. After that, there should be a mutual discussion to decide what can and should be done to remedy the issue.
The same is true for any other situational problem or experience in the child’s life. Many parents and family tend to minimize issues by just stating something like “This should not be happening.” At times, this will not be an answer for the child. He or she may not understand what happened and why such a fuss is being made over the case. The youth may think that it was something quite simple, when in reality it could cause huge ramifications. Failing at a test may seem minor to a child, but role model parents look at the big picture and wonder how they can help the student to study better to achieve the best grades. The youth may also think it is just one test, without totaling up how many times the tests have received bad or failing grades.
Having discussions with the children in the family will allow everyone to openly discuss any issues with homework or friends or in social settings. They can explain how they feel, and the parents or family will play a big role in stating their opinion of how they understand the situation. When the family plays a role in all areas of the child’s life, there is open communication and less chance that any problem will expand to serious consequences. When one person feels that it is no big deal, the different members of the family can give their opinions and explain why they feel it is wrong, or at the same time give praise for a proper decision made.
A child may not have all the knowledge about any given situation, so having the family play an important role in the decision making process will be helpful to the youth, no matter the age. This discussion will give them an opportunity of hearing different situations that could play out from their actions. Also, if there is any possibility that the youth will get in trouble or take part in some activity that could be construed as illegal, then the parents are able to state their feelings and stop the youngster from partaking in this.
Our youngsters are not mature enough to make all the important and un-important decisions in their lives. They need to hear from adults that they trust; they need to know if what they are contemplating is a good decision or not. Making a decision about which movie to see, or which college to apply to are important times for the family to play an important role in. Due to the ratings on movies, a responsible parent will not allow the child to go to an ‘R’ rated movie. The decision is no different when it comes to making college applications. If the child’s grades do not qualify for an Ivy League University, it would be an unreasonable to allow the youth to apply at the college.
What exactly is the family role? This can be explained in reasonably simple terms. Lead by example. When parents want their children to grow up with morals and values, they must act the part themselves. You cannot rightfully expect a child to grow up as a law abiding citizen, honor roll in school and great morals and values if the parents set a bad example and end up in jail as a drop out from high school.
If we expect our children to take the responsibility of volunteering at charity organizations, they have to learn by watching the parents. If we expect the child to maintain a high GPA, we have to teach them the importance of school, and act like it is important by taking an active interest in what they do and how they are accomplishing their studies. The family role will be an important aspect of how the child views school and how they do homework. When the parents do not take an active role, the children will get the impression that school does not matter in life.
The same holds true when it comes to being responsible and making your life better. When a parent or parents want the children to succeed, they must set the example of holding a job, being on time for the daily job and earning what they receive. The family role is to teach the child that all good things in life are earned, not just given.
The first role model or hero in a child’s life is typically a parent. Even when it is not apparent, the child is watching everything that the parent does, how they talk and how they treat others. When a parent gossips and makes fun of other people, this is what the child learns. If a parent acts like a bully to another person that is what they show the child to do. A family provides a child with many things that are of importance in life: they set an example, they provide the child’s identity, and they provide support financially, mentally, emotionally and morally. They also give the child a sense of security by setting boundaries and rules to follow in life. The influence that is provided to the child will last a lifetime and as parents we all want the best for our children.
Setting a proper family role model will include that each family member makes time for the family, and make fun a part of the family togetherness. The family role means teaching a child that respect is earned not given. The family role also means to encourage each other, give praise for good times and help out in rough times. One of the most important family roles is to show love. Showing love freely and openly gives the child self-esteem and feelings of worth. It empowers them to know that they matter to each other. Communicating love in actions and words will go further in a child’s life than just expecting them to know. We must also remember that when a child has too much freedom, they do not learn the rules of boundaries.
There is some simple advice given for all family members, items such as speak openly, but think before you speak. Remember to always be honest. Give credit where credit is due, and praise the positives. Share in family discussions and talk about each other’s day and their lives. Ask if they are having any problems with classmates, you want to stop any victims from bullying, prevent any fights or arguments from becoming bigger problems and help figure out ways to work out the solutions together. We must remember that we build trust with our children, we give them the confidence they need to succeed and we teach them what love is about. They learn from the examples that we set as parents or guardians. We teach them the order of importance, such as school is more important than hanging out with their friends, that homework must be finished to achieve further educational success. We show that family is important by making time to spend with them, no matter how busy our lives are.
We are there when they feel the need to talk, even if the subject matter seems minor to adults it is an important time for them. They do not understand or comprehend as much as an adult does yet, we need to be their teachers and supporters in everything appropriate that they do. We help them in all aspects and encourage when they need it. We share time together as a family to show that this is an important aspect and a needed time with family. Most importantly, the family roles must be clear. The parents must be the ones in charge, not the children because they want something and will throw a tantrum until they are able to have what they want. When we lead by example, by showing our youngsters how to earn what they want, they learn how to be a responsible, caring and hardworking member of society. We want them to know that they are loved, respected and important in our lives and we want to show them how to be the best they can be, without allowing them to over step the bounds set for them. We want to show our children how to be accountable for themselves and their actions in life; we do this when we lead by example.