Bullying is a way of deliberately humiliating or threatening others that are different to get results. Bullies often pick on victims they view as weak or vulnerable. They are used to getting what they want using unethical tactics. Bullies learn from experience they are not born that way. It happens at a young age when boys and girls do not learn to handle anger or aggression properly. Boys and girls can be bullies.
Bully psychology in schools is like anywhere else. The bully wants to control and subdue others. They are impulsive and easily angered. Children that are bullies often do not respect parents, teachers, and adults. So they are hard to control and often disrupt the class. It makes learning hard for everyone.
When bullies victimize someone they show little empathy for their victims. Often boys that bully often hit, punch, poke, or verbally shame the victim. Girls often victimize verbally and by spreading rumors younger siblings, or schoolmates. Victims in school are usually quiet and suffer from low self esteem. They can be good students that are computer geeks or even enjoy science. Often they do not have many friends and relate better to adults the peers. Some victims suffer from depression or are handicapped in some way.
There are different ways for children to be bullied by one person or groups. Some groups exclude the victims from eating, playing, or participating in the group. Some spread vicious rumors about the victim because they rejected or confronted the bully. There is cyber bullying which uses social media to control and humiliate victims. An example is taking sexual photos of the victim posting them on social networks or distributing them through mobile devices. In a few cases, this has caused the victims to commit suicides. This is a very extreme example of the bully psychology.
There are many different methods for bullies to operate from direct confrontation to social networks. Your child can be bullied by an individual or by a group. It can be random incident or last over a long period of time. It occurs in elementary, middle, high school, and colleges. No institution is immune from the possibility that some form of bullying will occur.
All children have the potential to be bullies or victims. Boys and girls share an equal bill in bullying. Often bullying causes children to do poorly in school or avoid attending. Sometimes an outgoing student can be bullied for being a different religion, nationality, or race. Boys can be bullied for having interests that are not considered masculine and girls for having an interest in science or gaming, or sports.
Most children have seen someone being bullied, been a victim, or bullied someone themselves. Often bullies don’t think what they are doing is hurtful. They might think its cool because their friends do. Sometimes bullies are popular and considered cool by other kids. They have high self esteem and confidence. A new study shows the popularity factor does not show up with bullies until sixth grade and middle school. This is time when growing peer pressure mounts to fit in.
Stronger more aggressive kids create a social group and appoint themselves leaders starting in sixth grade.. They gain power and status with peers with a change in the size of school and environment. Most victims don’t say stop it to the bully they just allow the behavior to continue. They may have few or no friends or just not fit into the group. The body language of the victim is submissive so this sets them up for more of the same.
Often the role of the victim and bully is temporary and can be changed. It is a collective problem not just individual. Retarded children, children with psychological or physical handicaps, are often bullied because the seem like easy victims to people. Often children are bullied because of gender, race, sexuality or religion. There are many reasons that children are bullied. Bully psychology is the same from elementary school to colleges.
Parents should keep track of changes in their children’s behavior. If you think your child is being bullied talk to the teacher and principal at the school. Volunteer to help if the school has an anti-bullying program. Teach children to stand up for themselves by saying no, answering back, or walking away. Try to find alternatives to physical punishment because this promotes aggressiveness. When you see bullying behavior by your child or another stop it and intervene. Know the techniques of bully psychology so you can stop it.