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Parents can help by instilling proper values and giving their children every possible tool to work with. Training is the key to helping your child avoid bullying in middle school. Teaching them they have rights and to respect the rights of others goes a long way. However, there are those that will teach their children that all that matters is what they want and this is the behavior your child will need to be braced for. People have a thousand reasons for being aggressive but all that matters to a middle school is not being affected by this aggression. Bullying in Middle School has a special culture.
Kids have a code of honor which requires no telling and if anyone does they are not apart but kept on the outside. The ones being bullied sometimes feel if they report the problem things will only get worse. These students are convinced there is nothing to be done and they must suffer. By the time a middle school bully gets to those levels he or she has become an expert at being subtle. So, when a child complains he seems to be the annoyance and the bully appears to be the innocent. This occurs because the problem has gone on so long. The system is so lost where bullying is concerned, if a student complains, it sounds like whining. The child being bullied quickly retreats into the being bullied situation and suffers. In schools kids are pushed, homework papers destroyed, money taken and verbally and physically harmed. These are acts that are against the law in the adult world but are indirectly tolerated in schools. Adults have recourse from these activities but children can be made to feel as if there is no way out. This lack of a solution in their mind is a form of torture.
The activities between classes are prime spots for bullies with everyone rushing to class a bully can push, taunt or take your property without anyone really caring about your problems. Bullies are experts at not being noticed. One point that is difficult for school administrators to control is the after school threats, “see you at 3:00” still exist for kids being bullied. This activity happens right after school and many times everyone knows about the plan except the teachers or parents. The access to cell phones and bus supervision has helped but the problem of do not tell or you are out of the group is still strong. Students participating in a lot of school activities are less likely to be bullied in middle school. They have a stronger system of networking and their peer group is more apt to get involved if there is a bullying incident. Grade school bullies love the shadows and the group interest brings too much attention. This alerts teachers and brings sanctions the bully is not willing to suffer. The whole idea is to enjoy another’s suffering not his or her own. Working together as a group pushes bullying of the picture. Sometimes the person will try to change and become a part of the non-bullying crowd because there is no place for him or her without someone to harass.