Bisexuality is a sexual preference that involves having sexual relations people of both sexes. Bisexual people generally have attractions for both sexes. Some of them may prefer one to the other, but they will engage in sexual relations with men and women. A young person may be confused about bisexuality for a wide variety of reasons. However, one must engage in sexual relations with people of both sexes to qualify as a bisexual person. Simply having random thoughts about two genders does not make a person bisexual. Young people’s hormones often alternate during adolescence, and they may have some ideas of which they are ashamed and embarrassed. So, Am I Bisexual?
Am I Bisexual?
What makes a person bisexual is the fact that he or she has sexual relations with someone of the same sex and someone of the opposite sex. Dreams and fantasies do not qualify as bisexuality. A one-time experiment with a person of the same sex may not qualify as bisexuality either. Many teenage girls and boys experiment with each other in high school because they are confused and stressed during their coming of age. They may ask themsevles, “Am I bisexual?” The best help that they can give to themselves is to obtain education on bisexuality. They can learn about bisexuality by speaking about it with a counselor, teacher, or parent. Discussing such feelings may be difficult because the teenager may feel as though the adult will not accept it.
The Difference Between Bisexual and Bicurious
Bicurious is a word that describes people who are curious about bisexuality. Such people have not yet engaged in relations with a person of the same sex. They may ask themselves, “Am I bisexual?” They may constantly think about finding someone to experiment with. A bi curious person wants to know if he or she is bisexual, and if being with both sexes is what he or she desires. A bicurious person may ask many questions about homosexuality and bisexuality. He or she may read books that have a bisexual nature. The person may make friends that have bisexual tendencies. Additionally, the bi curious person may try to date a person that that he or she knows is bisexual or gay. The difference between a bisexual person and a bicurious person is that the bisexual person has experience. The bisexual person has already established bisexuality by having relations with both sexes.
Signs That a Person May Be Bisexual or Bicurious
One of the most prevalent signs of a bisexual tendency or trait is sexual arousal and physical attraction to people of both sexes. A bisexual or bicurious person may think that some boys and some girls in school are cute. This person may equally like to spend time around boys and girls. Sexual dreams and fantasies may involve both sexes, as well. A bisexual person may have a boyfriend or a girlfriend and still spend a great deal of time pursuing people of the same sex.
Speaking Openly About Bisexuality
Many children live in shame during their high school years for fear of bullies attacking them because of their preferences or curiosity. Those same students may fear talking to their parents because they fear that their parents will disown them, punish them, or feel ashamed of them. Children need to have someone to speak to about sexual preferences because internalizing the feelings can lead to anxiety and depression. Parents need to let their children know that they love them no matter what their preferences are.
How to Approach Children About Bisexuality
A child who is bicurious or bisexual may or may not show outward symptoms of such. Some children will change their clothing styles, hairstyles or demeanor to mimic the opposite sex, while some children will remain the same. Any parent who feels as if a child may be bisexual should communicate with him or her about it. While there is no textbook with the exact answers for initiating a conversation about bisexuality, the best way to start it is with love and understanding. The worst thing that the parent can do is make the child feel uncomfortable or defensive. A defensive teenager will shut down or become extremely angry. Therefore, an understanding parent should start a bi curious or bisexual conversation by stating that he or she loves the child for who that person is. The parent should let the child know that he or she will stand by him or her no matter what. Additionally, the parent should tell the child that he or she could feel secure having the conversation. The teenager may respond well if the parent approaches with a slow, comforting voice and attitude.
How to Approach Parents About Bisexuality
Teenagers who have to face their parents about bisexuality have heavy weights on their shoulders. They may have no idea how their parents will react. Sometimes, religion and economics get in the way of parental judgment. Some parents are too hard on bisexual teens. Therefore, a bisexual or bicurious teenager may be reluctant to seek assistance from his or her mother or father. The teenager may feel more comfortable speaking with a sibling or a close non-judgmental friend about it first. Counselors are sometimes helpful because they will keep such information confidential unless the person wants the counselor to speak with the parents about it. Children who want to go directly to their parents should begin the conversation calmly. They should wait for a time when the hustle and bustle of everyday life is slow, and the parent has a time to engage in a deep conversation.
High School Crushes and Bisexuality
High school teenagers must be extremely careful when they discuss bisexuality. A student who has a crush on a person of the opposite sex must be careful not to trust the wrong person with the information. High school bullies thrive on people who they think are weak, vulnerable, insecure, scared or just plain different. Bullies often pick on people with alternative sexual orientations because it makes them feel slightly better about themselves.
A student who has a crush on a student of the same sex should spend time around the other student and try to figure out if that person may be bi curious or bisexual. That other person may be afraid to admit it for fear of rejection or negative response. The interested person can ask the other person out to a movie or a sporting event after school. That way the two persons can get away from any negative people that might overhear their conversations. Two bisexual or bicurious people will find a way to notify each other of their preferences during quiet alone time.
Significant Others and Bisexuality
Sometimes a person’s significant other or spouse is bisexual or bi curious. A bisexual person should notify his or her spouse about the preference to engage in relations with the opposite sex. Some people will dislike the idea and shun the person. Other people understand, but they still require monogamy and fidelity. A small group of significant others will allow their loved ones to engage with other people of the same sex. A bisexual one’s duty is to be completely honest with all people with which he or she is having relations. Therefore, the conversation should come up at some point early in the relationship, or it should come up before the relationship ever starts.
Society and Bisexuality
Society used to treat bisexuality as a negative taboo. Nowadays, many television shows talk candidly about bisexuality and homosexuality. Some movies have referenced some of the characters as being bisexual. An example of such a movie is “Dodgeball.” In the end of “Dodgeball,” one of the characters kisses a girl. She then says, “I’m not gay. I’m bisexual,” and she kisses a man. One of the most popular vampire television shows, “True Blood,” displayed many scenes between males and other males that were predominantly seen with females. Bisexuality used to cause a great deal of controversy in the past. Now, the public does not seem to react to it the way it used to. Perhaps people realized that the world consisted of a wide variety of different personalities. Bisexuality is not a crime, and every person is entitled to like what he or she wants to like.
Since the stigma associated with homosexuality and bisexuality has declined, many celebrities have come out and told the world who they were. Several bisexual celebrities exist. Lady Gaga, who is an extremely wealthy and popular musical artist, has admitted nationally that she is bisexual. Billie Joe Armstrong, who is in the band Green Day, told a magazine that he was bisexual. Angelina Jolie, who was married to Brad Pitt, admitted to having sexual feelings about a woman. Lindsay Lohan started dating a woman after she had several unsuccessful relationships with men. Finally, Anna Paquin, star of “True Blood,” admitted that she was bisexual. When celebrities have the courage to tell the world about their sexual preferences, it gives other people courage to trust in people and come forward, as well.
People create quotations every day that give other people hope and insight. Sometimes the quotes are funny enough to brighten people’s days. Actor Al Pacino stated that he did not understand the world’s fear about bisexuality and homosexuality. He quoted that “It’s not who you love…man or woman…it’s that you love that matters.” His quote was powerful and encouraging for anyone who is out there struggling with bisexuality.
Support groups and supporting websites can teach bisexual and bi curious people more about their preferences. They can also help to connect them with other bisexual and bi curious people.